Unplugged

Life

2010-05-30T22:19:00.006+08:00

have you ever been fired from a job you worked so hard for?

have you ever been homeless?

have you ever seen your memories literally burned up in fire?

have you ever countlessly been threatened to be evicted?

have you ever starved yourself because you don't have anything to eat at all?

have you ever had to sleep in a couch for years?

have you ever lost so much of your possessions that all that is left can fit into the boot of a small car?

have you ever seen both your parents cry and couldn't be able to do much about it?

have you ever had to go through all these and have nobody there to talk to?

Life's a bitch, a smile is yet another mask.

Muaz Al Rashid.

"It is JUST my opinion"

2010-02-22T17:43:00.002+08:00

You know what’s hard for a lot of people to do? To listen and understand. Something a lot of people crave for – but a talent that a lot of people lack. The lack of which normally ends up in disagreements, arguments and separations.

I’ve mentioned this before – I think. But it’s an issue that is very personal to me, thus the thoughts.

People crave to be heard and to be understood, but perhaps because of that particular craving, they forget that others yearn for the exact same thing. They want to be heard and understood so much, a lot of times, it just ends up to be just about how they feel or what they think is right.

Often I fall in the category of the misunderstood and unheard - which I think is partly the reason why I have a blog to begin with. I grow up feeling isolated, misunderstood and misinterpreted a lot of times, I was a quiet kid; and that is when I learned to listen. I grew up listening because a lot of people seem to not want to give me the chance to say anything, and that’s perhaps because I grew up among people who are very opinionated. Thus, when I acquire the confidence to speak up, I became very opinionated – and yet, I still actually know and understand where others are coming from.

But like I said before, people often refuse to want to listen to something that they don’t agree with.

Thing is, as much I understand what others say or explain – I still have my own individual feelings and thoughts – and that’s the only thing I wish people could just acknowledge – the fact that I’m a person with his own feelings – his own thoughts – his own brains – his own heart. If I could listen to you and understand you, why can’t you give the same respect?

I’m not saying I’m perfect, no. I, too, have once in a while become too engulfed into my own feelings and thoughts that the ego in me automatically repudiates where others are coming from.

However, when I say I understand – I actually do. But somehow, a lot of people, whenever I have something else to say, something that is of me, my feelings towards the subject – they automatically claim that I don’t understand. Just because I have own feelings, it does not mean I don’t understand where you are coming from. It just makes me human. All I hoped was that you give me the chance to speak up – that you would just listen to me instead of forcing me to comprehend something that I actually already understood perfectly.

And often, when people say “we need to talk” – they tend to dominate the talk and start to really be defensive – so really, that is not “us talking”, that is just “you talking”.

Sigh. Don’t people know, that just by listening and trying to understand where others are coming from, something that simple, could just really let us all live in peace and harmony?

love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Movie Review: Percy Jackson and The Olympians, The Lightning Thief

2010-02-20T09:05:00.003+08:00

Wow it's been a while since my last movie review. There's been quite an influx of movies that strike my fancy lately - and even better that there're still more to come (I am excited about the Alice In Wonderland movie).

So anyway, I managed to watch Percy Jackson the other day with a friend - I went to watch it regardless of the negative review from my best man (whose movie reviews normally synchronise with mine pretty well). So I went in and tried not to be too excited, regardless of its awesome trailer, and pretty much my expectation was actually met.

To call the movie "bad" might be a wee bit too harsh, there are some "nice" moments here and there - but overall it's very bland. I find myself uncomfortable sitting in the cinema - not because of the chair (that only happens at the Empire Cinema), but because I feel like I wanna pause the movie for a while, go out, get maybe some snacks, go around for a bit, maybe nap, then resume the movie.

Unless you're 8 years old or are just very easily amused with hocus pocus - then you'd probably find the movie extremely appealing.

I have huge doubts that the Percy Jackson series would garner as much popularity and success such as Harry Potter. At least Daniel Radcliff could actually live up to his role as a lead, Percy Jackson's actor, Logan Lerman, did not. Looks aside, his acting in the movie was very mediocre - in fact very weak in the Lotus eater scene. And I always feel that the choice of a lead actor in a movie plays a huge role in injecting interest in a movie. It is their job to engage us viewers to the movie - a quality I feel Logan lacks (unless you're easily charmed by his Zac Efron/Chace Crawford good-looks). His acting was just not believable, but then, he's only 18 and one can only hope with more exposure, he could well polish that talent and not just be another pretty face.

Plot-wise, I am quite surprised that the movie is almost completely different from the novel. I am normally disappointed with the Harry Potter movies because they tend to cut off relevant bits and pieces off, for Percy Jackson, on the other hand, it's almost as if they decided to re-write the plots.

In terms of story - I'm not quite sure about this, 'cuz I might have to re-watch the movie in order to fully comprehend this particular part - there are some mythological inaccuracies, or at least it is mythologically misleading. Correct me if I'm wrong, but during the museum scene, did the movie suggest or imply that Percy was based on Perseus? Because if it did, the beheading of Medusa and the usage of her head as a weapon AND not to mention the whole "I used to date for father" thing stand parallel with the actual greek myth - however - in the actual myth, Perseus is not the son of Poseidon, he's the son of Zeus.

In the book however, it is explained - well at least according to wiki - that Percy's mom named him Percy after Perseus - who happens to be the only demigod whose life did not end in tragedy.

Overall, the movie failed to capture me as a viewer. If there's a sequel, I would probably only watch it because of the fact I like myths and/or just to see whether or not Logan Lerman has stepped up his acting skills as a lead actor. I do, however, like the whole modern setting of the movie.

Next review: The Wolfman.

love,

Muaz Al Rashid

Shine

2010-02-04T00:10:00.003+08:00

“if you dim your light so that someone else could shine, the whole world gets darker” (centre stage)

This is one of my favourite inspirational quotes taken from the 2000 movie, Centre Stage. Read from the surface level, a lot of people assume that this line talks about competition. I, however, see in a different light.

One of the very reasons for this being one of my favourite lines is that it empowers me and helps me battle my self-esteem issues. I’ve always had an issue with regards to my self-confidence and self-esteem; I have this problem in believing myself – in believing that I can do what people think I can do – in believing that I actually have the talents that people see in me. A lot of times, I fail to see what people see in me. And this often gets in the way of my growth.

Take a room with four lights, for example. If you switch off one of the lights, the room would still be lit by the other three – but it will never be as bright as if it were lit by all four. I’d be bright, but would always be darker. That is how I read that Centre Stage line. Everyone is their own light, if you could not believe in yourself, you would never shine as much as how others would brightly do. You need to believe in yourself that you deserve to shine – that you deserve a place – that you deserve a chance, as much as the next person.

So what if you think there are other more talented people, that should not be a reason to dim. You deserve to brighten up the sky as much as the other stars – what matters is that you try your hardest and that you believe that you deserve to be there with them.

You definitely cannot make everyone happy – but what matters is that you – yourself – are happy. And that would help you shine.

Muaz Al Rashid - Life is not easy fo any of us, but what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves (Marie Curie)

once a teacher, always a teacher..

2010-02-01T22:41:00.005+08:00

A couple of months ago I was checking out a friend’s profile page on facebook and I was overwhelmed with joy when I saw a link to my former teacher’s profile. My teacher from primary 5 (that was back in 1996) SR Amar Pahlawan, Zarina Abu Zar; one of the best teacher a student could ever ask for. Her presence alone brightens up a whole class; her teaching – one of the most exciting and passionate I’ve ever seen. I didn’t just see her as a teacher – I saw her as a mother figure; her love for her students was just so clear – she made me feel special. Years have passed, and I still remember the sound of her voice, the way she taught and how caring she was; the impact she has made towards her students was so great that all of us just fail to forget such an inspirational character.

Now that is a teacher. Someone you can look up to and yet never made you feel too scared to talk to – someone so inspirational, you would just never forget their presence in your life – someone who is able to lift your spirits up and tell you never to give up – someone... who wouldn’t just give up on you. In the words of Henry Adams, “a teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops”

That definition of a teacher is embedded into my mind ever since, and I tried implementing it when I was performing my teaching practice in SM Menglait, last year. And I’m telling you this... it’s difficult. Putting all your heart and soul into your work is wonderful, but when students rebel against you – particularly for not trying hard enough – or not even trying at all – it just hurts so much.

Me being me, try not to show it much (konon control macho – barigali) but I find myself emotionally attached to my students and I tried my best just to see them succeed. I had a couple of students who couldn’t care less about their education; refuse to do any work, barely comes to class – you get the drift – which is typical, you get those kinda kids all the time. But it just hurts me that I wasn’t able to help these kids to see that what they’re doing now is detrimental towards their future. Some of the rebels were actually even ridiculously smart. Sigh.

O well...

As a whole, I did enjoy my teaching experience greatly, I felt ever so thankful that, regardless of the rebels, a lot of my other students appreciated the amount of effort I put to help them, and a lot of them even bugged me to come back to teach them. I wish I could just easily said “yes” to them. But up until now, I’m still not sure that I am able to inspire. The amount of burden that falls upon a teacher is so massive – and it scares me. I’m scared that I might fail as a teacher.

Over the years, I’ve seen different types of teachers; I’ve seen those teachers who are just like Miss Zarina Abu Zar – and I’ve seen those who just couldn’t care less. I’m just afraid that one day I might slip and fall into the latter category.

All and all, if anyone is even reading this, to everyone who was ever involved in my teaching experience – thank you for the wonderful moments.

The important thing is not so much

that every child should be taught,

as that every child should be given the wish to learn.

(John Lubbock)

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

I said it before..

2010-01-09T12:39:00.002+08:00

and I will say it again..

I will write something regarding my teaching practice experience. I was gonna write it now, but kana panggil tia ku. pfft.

heh

laters.

Yin and Yang

2009-12-26T05:42:00.003+08:00

I'd build myself up

And fly around in circles

Waitin' as my heart drops

And my back begins to tingle

Finally could this be it?

(Chasing Pavements, Adele)

Have you ever had any of those moments, where it seems like different parts of your mind or subconscious are fighting with each other? Particularly the side of you that is optimistic against the pessimist you. It's not fun, isn't it? 'cuz it makes you go crazy and turns you into the insomniac you are now - 'cuz everytime you lie in bed and stare in to the darkness, hoping to get some sleep, your mind started having this endless debate.

come on, gimme a break.

When you're faced with a situation, where you know there's an ending coming. At times, you wanna feel optimistic and say "I don't wanna dwell over the fact that it's gonna end, I'm just gonna let that happen one day - and before that happens, I'm gonna make sure I make the best out of the days I have left"

and then, reality screams to your face "it's gonna end godammit! and you have nobody by your side when that happens! for all you know, it's gonna end tonight" *plays All American Reject's "It Ends Tonight"*

[what? am I not allowed to be all dramatic now?]

So what're you supposed to do? Be happy with the fact that things are still in fact the way it is, or worry about what's going to happen at the end of the day?

Should I give up

Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere

Or would it be a waste?

Even if I knew my place

Should I leave it there?

Should I give up

Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere,

Muaz Al Rashid

RTB awards 2009

2009-12-25T01:46:00.005+08:00

Yes yes I know I haven't been updating Helda.. pfft.

I haven't gotten the time to compose a proper post lately - thus why, like I said in my previous post, most of my thoughts and opinions make their way to my facebook statuses just. O well.

anyway.

VOTE FOR ME!

nyahaha. I'm nominated for RTB awards 2009.

To vote, type in "ARTB MUAZ" send it to 8885555 (DST) or 22333 (Bmobile). You can only vote for a nominee once (one number = one vote).

you'll hear from me soon, I promise-ish. hehe

Love me for a reason..

2009-11-05T22:55:00.006+08:00

"Love me for a reason.. and let the reason be love" (Boyzone)

Yes, here I am yet again talking about one of my endless topic, love. Why do I keep discussing this? Why do I keep questioning this? Why are there so many theories... ideologies... stories when it comes to love?

why? because love is enigmatic. It's not something that is easily explained. Such the quotation above (note: I don't quote boybands often unless if they actually do have a line of value). Love makes you do crazy things... it baffles the mind... it creates war AND harmony at the same time. Love for a reason, and let the reason be love. What does that really mean?

It means, it's just difficult to explain why you are in love with someone.

It is easy to say HOW you start falling in love with someone. That is what I call the triggers; things that makes you "like" someone and which leads to love. These triggers are unique to different people; physical appearance, intelligence, charisma, humour, boob size, sexual fetishes, common interest - - you get the drift.

Thing is... most of these triggers are either ephemeral (particularly when it comes to physical apperance - one of the main reasons as to what contributes to "liking" someone) or faded away or overwhelmed by negative attributes of the person you fell "in love with"; such as being abusive, compulsive liar, impassionate etc.

For example, you fell in love with your bestfriend; she's always been there for you and showed you how much she really cares about you - and on top of that - you do everything together, and then things happen, you may get a little drifted apart, let's say, she's off to study abroad. Are the reasons for how you fell in love with her still valid as being reasons why you still love her? You say you love her because she's always there for you - what if she's not anymore? Are you going to stop loving her? Is it the end?

No - your feelings remain. But why? You thought you love her because of your togetherness - are you sure?

As I've said, the process of falling in love, is easier to explain in compared to why you still are currently in love with that person.

Some people say.. reasons can change or fade. Feelings remain. So can you really say you need a specific reason to love someone? It's difficult to put in words.

When I'm in love, I don't know why, but at the end of a stressful day, a simple text message from the person you're in love with - could just brighten your whole day. A little smile, can cheer you up like you've never been happier. A little eye contact, could make your heart stop beating for a moment like as if time itself wants you to embrace that moment. A little touch could make your palm sweat and your heart beats faster. Why? because you are in love.

True love - true undying and unconditional love, is like wind, you know it - you feel it - you just don't know how to explain it. For something so beautiful, just let it be, don't question it too much. Love is just so great that you can't really find the perfect words to explain it, apart from the word "love" itself.

note:

Unconditional love is not the best in every situations. When it comes to abusive partners or those who are compulsive liars, that is enough a reason for you to walk out that door. When people say, there shouldn't be a reason for you to love someone - then I say, there are reasons why you should NOT love someone.

Also, some couples spend way too much time thinking of reasons why they love each other - and in most cases, it ends up in an argument. So there, when both of you are in love; embrace it - stop questioning it.

With love,

Muaz Al Rashid

Random

2009-10-18T04:23:00.004+08:00

I haven't posted anything in quite a while.. it feels like as if I'm starting to lose connection to actual blogging as opposed to micro-blogging. The idea of fitting a whole post in one short sentence is quite enticing; it kind of lets people wonder what the details of it might really be... what triggers that one short "status update".. keeping an ounce of privacy yet expressing yourself nicely in such a delicate amount...

At times, writing such detailed posts makes one feel that one might lose his or her entire privacy - one might feel that the more one writes, the more it becomes misconstrued by someone else's negative opinions.

I'm not saying that blogging is starting to scare me, I've already made quite a number of foes and might have stirred quite a battle with some people. But I've never really regretted any of it. The fact that these things happen, it helps you grow. It widens your horizons.

A lot of people hate being criticized because they're afraid of being out of their shell. There is a whole world upon us, and if we close ourselves to our little mindsets - not wanting to even listen (or read) someone else's differing opinion, we're not going to get anywhere but to only be stuck in our own shadows.

I don't know why I see things very differently from the masses; including my own family. Education? maybe.. television? maybe... I really don't know.. but that is what is special, yet intriguing about humans; sometimes there are really no answers to how something started. Like the typical "which comes first; the chicken or the egg?" question. Some things are just is. Like why am I a born a boy? why are my ears different? Why am I not blue eyed?

Yes, you can argue that life experiences shape a person's mindset; that's definitely one of the key components of it, but really there are times when you really think of it - why exactly are you more optimistic than you are a pessimist? it's as if we're born with some particular traits that act a like a chip inserted in us and that is how we operate - based on those traits that we inherited genetically.

But what about me? Why do I think so differently than quite a number of my own family members.. Why do I see things differently? Why do I look so much like my mother and yet think differently? I resemble my sister and yet we are almost completely different.

I don't even know why I am talking about this at 4 in the morning. I'm not even trying to explain myself.. these words just seem to flow to my fingers.

But yeah.. I have different opinions to quite a number of things... A friend said this the other day:

"They're not weird Muaz.. You are.. for being where you were to begin with.. You don't belong there - why were you even there?"

The ugly duckling... the black sheep.. typical things you can call me by.

Anyway.. the point is.. you may have different opinions.. but it doesn't mean that others have to follow suit.. it doesn't mean that you can't listen to someone else's point of views.. Listen to them - even if they won't listen to you. Agree is not a necessity, but listening and just understanding someone's stance on a particular issue might be interesting.

Open up your shell, and start living the world.

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

and Ima check ma facebook

2009-09-19T09:48:00.004+08:00

HAHAHHAAH

awal ku ketawa.

This story cracks me up.

So supposed you're a burglar, you break into a house and was about to leave and you saw a PC.. what do you do with it?
(a) Steal it. duh, you're a damn burglar
(b) leave it alone, you haven't the time to grab a whole pc
(c) check your facebook for any new updates

You think you won't go for (c)?

The popular online social networking site Facebook helped lead to an
alleged burglar's arrest after he stopped check his account on the victim's
computer, but forgot to log out before leaving the home with two diamond
rings.

Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one
count of felony daytime burglary.
(source)

HAHAHA. what an idiot. You'd think that in this day and age, criminals get smarter..

with love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Baby Found in Kupang

2009-09-11T18:57:00.003+08:00

Found this video, and my heart stopped a beat and clenched. sigh. I don't even know what else to say to this, I'm just so appalled.

Sounds of Hope Charity Gala

2009-09-06T04:19:00.003+08:00

Oh, now that I'm in here, might as well post this. The poster itself is self-explanatory. And if you have yet to know, Sounds of Hope is a non-profit organisation aiming to eradicate poverty in Brunei Darussalam.

Much love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Long overdue

2009-09-06T03:58:00.004+08:00

Wow, yes, I know Elle, it's been way too quiet around here.. haha.. I fully and sincerely apologise to those who actually enjoy reading this blog for the serious lack of updates. I have been micro-blogging a lot of my thoughts lately as facebook statuses instead of an actual detailed post here on my blog (takes way less time to compose and creates less haters), and of course that being said, those haters out there are probably having the time of their life thinking that I'm probably dead or something due to my long absence..

I WILL update soon, just have been spending most of my free time with digital drawing using my super-dooper awesome graphic tablet and photo-manipulations.

In order to make this post look longer, I shall post some of my artworks. ahah.

Other than that, Selamat Berpuasa everyone.

Feel the love. Exhale and dump away all the hatred.

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Putting the "U" in "You"

2009-08-10T14:41:00.002+08:00

I dropped by the Pilihan studio this morning just to say hi to DJ Izan and to see the outcome of the henna tattoo I made for her.. and somehow she managed to make me sit and become an actual guest on her show.. we talked about a lot of interesting topics; one of which is about being different and accepting yourself for who you are. A topic which is very close to my heart.

A lot of people are afraid of their own skin, because the world out there is extremely judgemental. And people fear rejection... people fear isolation... people fear criticisms. Which is why people always try their best to act, speak, think, and/or dress like how the mainstream community wants them to be.

People want acceptance so bad - they forgot one thing: acceptance towards oneself.

How can you accept yourself when you're basically lying your way through life? How can you be happy when you are NOT you?

"Be the change you want to see in the world" (Mahatma Ghandi)

A lot of people have mentioned, before you want to learn to love others, you must first understand yourself - love yourself first. If you are afraid of being judged by people for being who you trully are; it just comes to show how much you are unloved by your own self.

A lot of people waste their time thinking about what people think of them, when in reality, others really have other things to think about than you. So why bother? Why do you want to be accepted so badly?

I know why, I felt that often since I was a kid; loneliness. People hate being alone, they hate being isolated. Well if that's the case, don't bother trying to get to know people who would not understand you. You're just wasting your time trying to crack open a mind that would always remain close. What I do? Simple... walk away, and you'll eventually meet people who understand you... who are just like you... and who actually like you.

There was this one time last year that a person said "your blog will be the most hated blog in Brunei" over something I said. I'm going to put this straight: I do not necessarily think the same way as a lot of people here. I have my own mindset; I'm not a robot that would just simply nod at whatever ideas people throw at me. If I have something to say, I'll say it. If I agree.. I'll say why... if I don't, I'll tell you why - it's that simple. And when that person said what he or she said, it didn't even bother me, I don't really care if people hate me.

People have their rights to like or dislike whoever they want. But one thing for sure, I'd rather be hated for being who I am than be liked for being someone I am not.

Growing up, I felt a lot of rejection and seen a lot of mockery. Of course, I was saddened by this, and I tried to be the person people want me to be. And you know what? I could never quite suffice their demands. And then I realise, the more I change, the more people want me to change. One thing comes after the other - nothing is ever enough. People are greedy when it comes to what they want. And so I said "f**k it". I'm tried of pretending and staying quiet just so that people like me.

I have friends who love me for who I am - and that's enough for me. And I hope others out there, will feel the same way. There's no point in trying to satisfy other people because they'll never be satisfied.

Same goes with blog haters. I still could never understand why people still visit and read blogs of people who they do not like. I have actual friends whose blogs I don't read because I find what they write a bit lame at times, but I don't go around checking it ever so often and leave hate messages. It's pointless, get over it. Why did I bring this up? After what felt like forever, I visited my CFM website, and found a recent message from an old "friend". People amuse me sometimes, but I could never understand them.

Could somebody please clarify it for me. Why do people LOVE visiting blogs that they hate and leave hateful messages?

YOU put the "U" in "you", otherwise you're just a "yo" which is basically nonsense.

With love,
Muaz Al Rashid

A few more weeks

2009-07-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

It’s July, and per usual, my pre-birthday post.

Normally, around this time, I would be listing the things (material-wise) that I would want as birthday gifts. This year, I’m doing it a bit different. I won’t be listing any materials that I want, if you know me well, you’d know what I want.

But to be honest, what do I really want for my birthday... something that I have been wishing for years but barely been able to reach it. No, it’s not that gray LV back pack nor is it the new iPhone, I just want to be happy.

What’s the point of people chanting “happy birthday” to you the whole day when you’re not authentically feeling it? It’s been awhile that I felt completely elated on my birthday; I felt it a bit last year, but it didn’t last as long as I hoped it would. For here I am, still searching for that particular feeling that’s lost between all the intricate dramas of what we call “life”.

I was watching a movie the other day (can’t remember which), but the actress said “happy endings are stories that haven’t really ended”. True, because the story of life doesn’t end after 2 hours, it doesn’t end after a marriage, nor does it end with a credit roll.

Life comes in a pair; yin and yang; that balances what life is. Happy ending movies tend to focus on the yang; the brighter side of life, but people tend to focus on the yin; the depressing parts of life and overwhelm themselves in it. I have been guilty on the latter quite so often.

Thus, what I want for my birthday is... to forget the dark depressing yin, but to immerse myself in the wonderful yang of life. I want to wake up feeling completely elated – joyful as I’m still breathing and my heart still beating, and going back to sleep that night – feeling the exact same way. I want to wake up smiling and falling asleep with a smile on my face.

Someone once said “life is too short to be depressed”. As shallow-minded as I think that phrase is, I will be taking that as this year’s birthday theme.

I want to be happy. That’s all. But how am I going to do that?

First swine flu related death reported in Brunei

2009-07-02T19:45:00.003+08:00

The Ministry of Health has confirmed the death of a 12 year old girl with regards to the A (H1N1) virus and the number of positive cases of A (H1N1) has shockingly risen to 93.

If THIS doesn't slap these absolutely ignorant public up in their face, I don't know what will.

The authorities had made it perfectly clear that the public SHOULD be aware and take proper precaution; if people would've sat down and listened, this rapid increase probably wouldn't have happened!

My condolences goes to the family of the said girl.

Innalillah.

Muaz Al Rashid

Public ignorance to its very core

2009-07-01T15:18:00.002+08:00

The past week, my news scripts include updates of H1N1 cases in Brunei, which is rapidly rising. Due to such, the authorities have decided to extend school holidays; this is so that teenagers would avoid crowded places and socialising with their peers; given the fact that most of them might be at risk as most went overseas for the holidays.

But hey, why don't I find it surprising that Gadong is FULL of cars and people at 3pm on a monday?

And why am I not surprised to know that there are parents who bring their toddlers out to overly crowded places like last weekend's consumer fair at the ICC?

WHY am I not surprised to see parents dropping off their kids to Gadong when they are AWARE of the rising cases of H1N1?

Is it because our country is known to be "peaceful" that these parents.. these kids.. choose to completely ignore the risk that they might be taking?

It pisses me off to see parents bring out their young children.. their babies.. out when the authorities clearly advised them to lessen social interactions and to avoid crowded places.

and reading this, fuel my anger even more. Here're some quotes from the article;

A mother of six, who wished to be named Salmah, said: "I brought my
daughter here today because I feel that The Mall is a safe place and that it's
clean."

When asked whether she was afraid of contracting H1N1 at a crowded
place like The Mall, she said: As we are in Brunei, I am more confident taking
my children out, rather than in a foreign country."
Another parent, Zulkifli Hj Tengah, whose three children are in primary schools, echoed the same sentiments. "Although I am aware of the advisory by MoE, I do not feel scared bringing all my children here because it's a safe place to me."
A number of students met by The Brunei Times said that they choose not to heed the advisory simply because it is a better alternative to being bored at home, such as in the case of Ak Mohd Hafiz, 16, who said that he was not scared at all of contracting H1N1. "I am still going to come out everyday, whether it be at The Mall or other places. It is just boring to stay at home," he explained.
A 13-year-old student, Nadheerah Affandy also said that the reason she was at The Mall was because she had nothing to do at home. "I am scared of contracting the virus here, but I would rather come out because there is nothing to do at home," she said, adding that she might think about staying at home for the rest of the week.

--- WTH??!

Are these people crazy?

So I get it, you rather contract a deadly virus than be bored at home... very wise indeed.

On another note, I'm quarantined for a week, sister's colleague tested positive for A (H1N1), and thus everyone in her office and those who are in close contact of them are being quarantined.

Be safe, stay clean.
Muaz Al Rashid

Quick Update: H1N1

2009-06-22T19:53:00.002+08:00

4 more cases of A (H1N1) influenza reported today, bringing the total number of infections in the country to six.

Watch RTB news tonight for more information.

Be safe, be clean.

Muaz Al Rashid

Quick Update: Second case of A H1N1 confirmed

2009-06-21T20:12:00.004+08:00

The Ministry of Health has confirmed yet another case of influenza A (H1N1) in the country. The second case concerns a 16 year old Bruneian who returned home from a holiday trip in Singapore on the 18th of June 2009.

Similar to the first case, the patient is currently being treated at the Pengiran Muda Mahkota Pengiran Muda Al-Muhtadee Billah hospital in Tutong.

Also reported, the first patient's health is improving and still under treatment.

The ministry advises the public to postpone or avoid trips to affected countries. The ministry also reminds that the influenza vaccine available in the currently does NOT protect against A (H1N1) influenza.

Muaz Al Rashid

coming soon

2009-06-21T15:10:00.005+08:00

poster courtesy of myself.

The poster is actually unfinished [thus it's obvious wonky-ness], but I just wanna post it here for a pre-ad. Sports Carnival in conjunction with Fitness Zone Kiulap's 2nd year anniversary. It's gonna be hugeeeee!

oh and, Chun will be around to auction his autographed personal belongings for charity.

relive the sweat.. are you ready for a challenge?

Muaz Al Rashid

Quick update: A (H1N1) arrived in Brunei

2009-06-20T20:07:00.006+08:00

The ministry of Health has confirmed the first case of swine flu or influenza A (H1N1) in Brunei Darussalam. The case is of a 19 year old Bruneian who had just arrived in the country from the United Kingdom.

Tests were carried out and the patient is confirmed positive with the virus. The said patient (whose name [and thus gender] is still undisclosed at the moment) who is said to be in a stable condition, is being quarantined at the Pengiran Muda Mahkota Pengiran Muda Al-Muhtadee Billah hospital in Tutong.

In addition, the patient is said to have contracted the virus more than 12 hours after his/her flight arrived in the country (edit: he/she SHOWED symptoms of the virus more than 12 hours after arrival), thus other passengers aboard the same flight (BI098) from London Heathrow on June 16th are not contacted (reasons being that; considering that the patient only showed symptoms more than 12 hours after the flight, there is very little possibility that the virus would spread to the other passengers and crews, but personally, for precautionary measures, I think everyone aboard the plane should be tested)

Muaz Al Rashid

Thank me? no.. thank YOU..

2009-06-20T18:03:00.005+08:00

I never get to write a lot about my Teaching Practice experience, will do that some time. This is something I want to just keep here in my blog, it is what my student wrote for me in his blog, I was extremely touched by what he said:

Sir Muaz:

I wanna thank you so much.. Honestly, I admire you so much, because out of all the English teacher i learned from, i'm proud to say i learned so much from you than the others..

You are the best so far.. I am so amazed by how you taught us, you're really a talented and a skillfull teacher.. You tried to find our mistakes and correct it with such skills.. and we learned from it.. Sorry to my English teachers in the past, but Muaz Al-Rashid is the most experienced.. hehe, No offence ..But i mean it sir, You are so fluent in the art of english.. For a Malay guy, you really are..

You are so passionate in teaching English, that passion, i admire it so much.. I know that meeting another English teacher like you again is impossible.. i feel like i'm the luckiest student right now.. Dont cry my sir, huhu.."if i wereto be a teacher, it will be because of 4b" this is what u said.. It got deep, i am so honoured and proud of myself, and also my other classmates.. What you said, it really means something..

And Im also amazed in what you have done, you were a fitness instructor, an RTB-ian, and well known.. I never expect this.. i'm suprised..

The first time you stepped into our class, my thoughts were "another boring teacher".. I take that back and sorry.. huhu.. Next time i wont judge a book by its cover.. there are so many things about you.. I thank you..haha.. If i ever see you again, i'll call you cikgu for the rest of my life.. You deserve the title of it.. That is the way i show you my respect for you.. It's by calling you cikgu.. okay sir! bye

(Bahzi)

I edited some bits to make it an easier read, but is about 99% his own words... and I can't believe it that a teacher could have such an impact towards his/her students.. that is what scares me about being a teacher... the responsibility that was behold upon them is just extremely difficult.

To all teachers out there (who take their work seriously), I don't know how you do it - I don't know where you could be able to garner the courage to face such responsibility every day and the energy to maintain such presence. I'm not sure if I have gathered such skills to go through that, 3 months was already amazingly difficult, I can't imagine what it would be to do that for the rest of my life.

note: I'm not sure why he said I am "the most experienced" though, considering that I have very little of it..

Muaz Al Rashid

Snap to reality

2009-06-20T14:45:00.004+08:00

Behold.. let me help ruin your fairy tale fantasy.. hahah. Taken by Dina Goldstein, these pictures are supposed to bring fantasy to reality;

As a young girl, growing up abroad, I was not exposed to Fairy
tales. These new discoveries lead to my fascination with the origins of Fairy
tales. I explored the original brothers Grimm's stories and found that they have
very dark and sometimes gruesome aspects, many of which were changed by Disney.
I began to imagine Disney's perfect Princesses juxtaposed with real issues that
were affecting women around me, such as illness, addiction and self-image
issues.

(source)

It's cool... but I would actually prefer my fairy tales to remain happy. Belle looks extremely disturbing..

Muaz Al Rashid

What is Ranoadidas?

2009-06-12T08:11:00.003+08:00

I was driving back home from work this morning (yes, you read that correctly - driving BACK home from work in the early morning - sigh) and was listening to the radio. The topic was on Rano's 6 year anniversary of his wonderful blog.

So this caller called in - a local, and by the sound of it - she's probably a young adult. And she blurted out the question "What is Ranoadidas?" mind you I was rather sleepy at the time, and that question definitely woke me up.

One of Pablo's favourite phrase instantly came to mind: "Katak bawah tempurung" jua this girl.

Katak bawah tempurung; : A frog which lives under a cocunut shell will
think that the shell is the world. So, one who is like the frog will have
no knowledge oft hings/events/places aoutside his 'world'. He/she refuses to
venture out into the world-he/she remains ignorant but is happy with it.
(source)

How can anyone here not know Ranoadidas is beyond me; you hear about him all over the radio... almost every blog has a link to his... heck, we go to the cinema and the first promo we see is about his blog... Ranoadidas is like the Borneo Bulletin of the internet.. I just find it hilariously odd that anyone would fail to know who or what his blog is all about.

You know what's even funnier? This girl called in to win a Ranoadidas T-shirt. Well at least now she knows... and the DJ actually even had to explained to her what Rano's blog is all about... and she innocently went "aaaahhh...~"

hahah. bless.

Regardless...

Congratulations Rano on the anniversary, I'd love to come by but I've a flight to catch.. but I bet it'd be smashin'...

auf wiedersehen!

Muaz Al Rashid

Is it culturally correct? (part three)

2009-06-11T22:59:00.003+08:00

This is a brilliant comment from Jay from the previous post, I feel it deserves a place on an actual post rather than a comment box:

I don't like commenting on the cBox, because it all gets lost in the
clutter. So I might have not read a few points in the cBox.

I agree with you. Disagreement should never be mistaken with disrespect.
They are two completely different things.

Disagreement is simply not agreeing with a point of view and then argue
sensibly why you disagree with it, which I think is what you have done.
Disrespect is humiliating the person, questioning their intelligence and never
actually saying why you disagree with the person.

And I completely agree with you about swearing as not being a part of
culture, or that no culture can be said as negative. I'm a linguist, and I've
learnt that no language is superior to another. Not even hybrid ones (called
pidgins or creoles), like Singlish or Manglish. It all comes down to what you're
most comfortable with.

To say swearing is not a part of Malay culture is in itself meaningless.
Swearing is not part of culture, period. If someone say it's part of Western
culture, that's definitely wrong. It's not, as much as it is not a part of Malay
culture.

Or else they wouldn't have censorship (bleep!) or those parental advisory
stickers on CDs which contain a lot of swearing. Swearing is indeed, arguably, a
natural way to vent out some anger or frustration. But is it appropriate? Most
of the time not.

Never mind the term Western culture is actually very vague. Which part of
the West? USA? UK? France? These countries practice very different cultures.
Just like when you refer to Asian culture. Are you referring to the Indians? The
Chinese? The Thais? The Malays?

Actually the term "western culture" that I brought up is the idea of "western" that is usually brought up by most people here, I know it is indeed vague, but that's how they chose to represent it. Although I reckon they're talking about the Americans specifically - being that they're the ones dominating in our television.

Brilliant comment MJ..

peace,
Muaz Al Rashid

wow... just.. wow

2009-06-11T16:03:00.005+08:00

I find it sad that here I am.. talking about racial/cultural discrimination and stereotype (here and here) and some people are stuck to the idea of me being disrespectful towards my own family, eventhough I have clearly stated that I wasn't:

I knew that some people might read this and think what an a**hole I am to
diss my aunt. I'm not. I have nothing against my aunt (in fact I see her as a
fun, glamourous and caring mother), what I am against is what she said - those
are two different things. I have no intention to bitch about her; I was simply
expressing my concern over her claim, which I feel is very popular among many
here.

The irony that was presented within the post is not there to condemn her as
a person, but to show how ironic a lot of people are when they are classifying
"culture"; don't you see the irony and the hypocrisy? preaching about how our
culture is lost but you're not exactly preserving it yourself? A lot of people I
know are like that.. I never really touched the issue, because I know that I
myself am guilty of such offence; I speak English more than half the time! If
you call me a contradiction, I agree... I love the richness of my culture, but
for some reason, I am just more comfortable speaking English.

Again, I'm not trying to diss my aunt, I apologise if anyone sees it that
way. I spoke of general things that derived specifically from her
statement.

Discrimination and stereotype of this kind is an anathema to me, it doesn't matter to me who said it... but it's been said, and if you've been following my blog, you'd have known that the issue is a huge anathema to me.

Just because I disagree to what she said.. Am I really being disrespectful? This is not communism, are we not allowed our own opinions anymore? Must we agree over a particular ideology - particularly when family ties are in the line? If I disagree over something - particularly over a topic that is very sensitive to me - I will not be quiet.

I would've understood anyone calling me disrespectful if I spend the entire post backbiting her, but I wasn't (I even mentioned how wonderful of a mother she is!), I just took her statement and presented my point of view over that.

The issue is on culture and race and how people easily condem one in order to make another sound more superior. A lot of people do that - and I see that as a form of racial stereotyping or discrimination.

If you were in any of my classes, you would've known how sensitive I am about this issue, because I kept presenting on it; I even make it a habit calling "kadai K*ling" as "kadai runcit".

Here I am talking about wanting equality and integration between races and cultures, and some people are just stuck to the idea of me disrespecting my aunt, just because I disagree with something she said.

Some just could not get the idea that I was NOT dissing her. I wasn't. I wasn't dissing about her as a person, I took what she said and coupled it up with the mindset of many, because a lot of people have that mindset. I find that quite depressive.

//updated//

So I eventually found out what caused the stir with the family, unfortunately I wouldn't be able to sit and discuss the situation like how you all (assuming you're reading this) wanted at the moment, because I won't be around until next week.

Regardless.. I found out that the said aunt was upset with what I said in the first post before my final editing of it. Yes, I admit, the first time I wrote and published it, I was angry and therefore it was published at first based on that particular angst. And then I got to my senses, and editted the unnecessary bits out (because I find that particular bit to be a bit harsh)- and this happened a day after (or within the day of) my first publishing of the said post.

To my knowledge, what I have deleted has lost its significance to the entire situation and I was hoping that nobody would read it, it's not like I expect people to read my posts the MOMENT I clicked "publish". Unfortunately, that wasn't entirely the case. But I want to make it clear, that I know when to and when NOT to cross the line; that bit crossed the line and it has been deleted weeks ago. If anyone managed to read that before it was deleted- I apologise because I know that was a bit harsh.

note: the post has not been edited since, as far as I'm concerned, that is the original; unless it has been tampered with in some other website I do not know about.

Muaz Al Rashid

Is it culturally correct? (part two)

2009-06-11T00:24:00.010+08:00

WARNING: Content of post might be disturbingly offensive, apologies in advance to those offended by this post.

I knew I would get into trouble for posting this. But I went on with it anyway, because I have my opinion.. and I have this problem of not letting my opinion be silent... and yes, now I got into trouble.

But still - I stand by my claim.. and I agree with Pak Abu for saying that it is not culture; It IS indeed not culture, it's a habit (and a bad one at it).

pkboo: to wat i know there no culture that allowed swearing of any kind..

That is indeed true... so basically then, why was the issue on culture raised to begin with? I might add, that when one is not allowed, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist... although that's not the issue here.. the question is just that; why was culture raised in this context? THAT's the problem.. saying that "it is not our culture" basically means that you're saying it is part of another and it doesn't exist at all in our community...

Yes, I have a dreadful habit of cursing - but that's my flaw... not everyone is perfect, a lot of people curse; I just happen to curse in English, using the F word - a lot. I admit, that is my bad habit, BUT should it be related to any specific culture? no.. it shouldn't.. because that is when it becomes ignorant.

A lot of people, when they start to see something they don't like... or something that is negative, they started blaming it on culture.. they start to blame on how badly the western culture has affected us all. Might be true to a certain extent, but for something that is as universal as cursing to be labelled of any particular culture - that is just incorrect.

And does my cursing make me any less of a Malay - No, I don't think so. I just happen to curse in English - not a good habit to promote - that's 100% true, but that's just how I am, and I'm gonna say it again...

Culture should not be touched on this topic because that's just insignificant.

The only problem with this case is that I'm just not that Malay boy who filters his language (again, NOT a good thing to promote, especially on a public blog, but it's just there to get my point across) - and I am sure that I'm not the only one in that circle, I bet people might be mad at me for saying that, but heck, I'm brave enough to tell the truth.

Everyone has their own flaws... and in this case, that flaw of mine is individualistic, not cultural.

I'm not trying to be pro-western here, but I'm trying to be neutral - to find equality, I'm not fond of discrimating races or condemning any other cultures for what is wrong with an individual.

It really reminds me of this time back in college. The majority of discipline breakers at the time were the Malay students. I found out years later that apparently the school decided to have a special assembly for non-Malay/non-Muslim students, "advising" these students to stop influencing the Malay students in breaking the rules.

I knew what was going on in college then; it was true that the vast majority of the troublesome students were Malays (I know most of them personally), I was completely at shocked that the non-Malays got the blame instead! Racism? obviously.

It just ties up, that a lot of people find it easier to blame another person for anything that went wrong with themselves.

Tell me to mind my language - I would've accepted it and simply apologised, because hey, it is rude to use the "F" word. But to raise culture into the situation, becomes an issue to me.

I don't feel any less of a Malay. I never tried to condem my own culture, my own race; everything that is negative about me is of no influence from other external sources. I take the full blame - not my parents, not my friends, not television, but me.

Cursing exists in our own community, I just happen to curse in English.

note: before everyone starts to think that I'm this foul-mouthed individual who curses or swears everyday regardless of the situation - you're wrong. I know when to filter when I need to; why do you think I censor the words here in my blog? I know my context..

Muaz Al Rashid

There's nothing else that I can do..

2009-06-03T02:08:00.004+08:00

Tears roll down my cheeks almost everytime I listen to this song.. the words are just magical..

You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away
And I can't lie every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face tonight
'Cause I just can't take it

[Chorus]
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won´t stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait forever

You look so beautiful today
It's like every time I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, man I wish that I could stay
And I can't lie every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face tonight
'Cause I just can't take it

[Chorus]
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won´t stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait, I can wait forever

I know it feels like "forever"
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch makes it better
Until that day there's nothing else that I can do
And I just can't take it(I just can't take it)

[Chorus]
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won´t stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait, I can wait forever
I can wait foreverI can wait forever
I can wait foreverI can wait forever
I can wait forever

Muaz Al Rashid - Can you wait forever?

Where's the flow

2009-05-30T02:13:00.000+08:00

I have been talking with a friend about the future of relationships often nowadays, by that I mean – marriage.

I know – it’s very contradictory with the whole “I don’t wanna get married early” plan that I have, but it is indefinitely something interesting to discuss about.

Anyway, so this friend of mine is in a relationship that – to my point of view – is not going anywhere; absolutely no future, which is a pity considering that she sees herself as a wife in the near future. She wants to settle down. But I couldn’t hide what I felt and just simply told her right away that there is no way that she’d settle down with this particular guy, given the circumstances that they are in.

And she responded to me saying “I’m just going with the flow”

An answer I tend to hear when people are basically lost, when they do not know what to aim for, when they do not know what they want.

Let me borrow a phrase from Katy Perry “you said move on, where do I go?” – that line basically relates well with the phrase “go with the flow” in this sense.

I told her this (which to me, many out there might relate themselves to – thus the post): how can you go with the flow when you’re actually stuck in one place?

You can’t seem to move on because by the looks of it, it’s not moving anywhere... there’s simply no flow to follow.

It’s like you’re in a current, but your boat is stuck among the rocks and simply not moving anywhere when everyone is already way ahead of you. The whole world is rushing past you and you simply wait for a miracle to move you on – which is simply impossible.

So what do you do? Are you staying? Or are you finding an initiative to move ahead?

Are you really going to sacrifice a future that you desire for someone who doesn’t want to share that particular desire?

Think about it
Muaz Al Rashid

Is it culturally correct?

2009-05-30T02:02:00.006+08:00

WARNING: This post contain materials that may be deemed as offensive to many, thus the author apologises if any is offended with his writing.

I posted a shout out on my facebook status a few weeks ago that said “I don’t give a f*ck”; which is a direct representation (at the time) of my emotions. I speak English more than half the time and it is simply in my nature, thus, to curse in English.

A relative then responded to the status saying “mind your language – that is not our culture”. I was completely taken aback with her reaction. “Mind your language” that part I completely agree to – even within the English speaking community, the “f” word carries a pejorative meaning and is simply inappropriate in many instances.

But when she stated that it is “not in our culture” – it made me think. How derogatory is that? To my understanding of her statement, it’d be this: “it is not in our culture to curse”. Which I feel is completely incorrect and ignorant. Cursing appears in whatever culture, it manifests itself with the language of that community, for e.g. with us, the “f” word is probably in the same level with the words “sial”, “p*kima”, “gila b*ie”, etc.

So for her to claim that cursing doesn’t appear in our culture is just absolutely ignorant. Set aside the fact that the “advice” to be all culturally sensitive was given by a woman who speaks English almost half the time with her kids; it just seems to me how people easily relate everything that is negative, with the western culture. It is as if, it is the easiest way to say “you’re wrong” and you just then simply dump it to being “western-influenced”

To me, there is no negativity in any cultures – what makes it negative is how we perceive it. I told my students this once “what is good to you may not be good to others – so always support your claim or statement – provide reasons - don’t leave it hanging”. So it is true here as well, what is negative to our mainstream community – may well be something neutral elsewhere.

It always bothers me when teachers – lecturers – people in general, start to point out all that is negative with the western culture; their clothing, their mannerisms, their language, whatever. I just feel like screaming to them; it is THEIR culture – let it be. You don’t hear them bitching about how we eat with our hands, about our clothing, about our behaviour – well maybe you do. But really, can’t people just leave people’s culture as it is. Respect their originality as to how we would want ours to be respected.

What my relative has said, just basically, to me sounded condescending. It makes it sound as if we don’t curse at all in our own community and/or heck in our own language – when in fact we do, nobody is perfect, so can’t people just simply take everything as it is, don’t try to sound better than others by condemning the rest. Really, and you ask why there’s war in the world.

So maybe she got a bit ticked off because I said “f*ck”, but would she have the same reaction (word per word) if I were to say “p*kima” instead?

By then, I don’t think the word “culture” would be raised.

I am just so confused, she could’ve just stopped at “mind your language” – now that is correct in whatever culture you’re talking about.

Oh and before anyone started saying how I “have just disrespected my own culture”, don’t get me wrong, I do love my culture, I love how rich it is; but I respect every other cultures out there, I wouldn’t say that ours is the best, I’d put all in the same level; each has “flaws” to one another’s eyes. I LOVE learning about every other culture and I am definitely proud of mine; ask my Art teacher if you don’t believe me.

Why divide when you can live harmoniously?
Muaz Al Rashid

updated June 2nd, 2009

I knew that some people might read this and think what an a**hole I am to diss my aunt. I'm not. I have nothing against my aunt (in fact I see her as a fun, glamourous and caring mother), what I am against is what she said - those are two different things. I have no intention to bitch about her; I was simply expressing my concern over her claim, which I feel is very popular among many here.

The irony that was presented within the post is not there to condemn her as a person, but to show how ironic a lot of people are when they are classifying "culture"; don't you see the irony and the hypocrisy? preaching about how our culture is lost but you're not exactly preserving it yourself? A lot of people I know are like that.. I never really touched the issue, because I know that I myself am guilty of such offence; I speak English more than half the time! If you call me a contradiction, I agree... I love the richness of my culture, but for some reason, I am just more comfortable speaking English.

Again, I'm not trying to diss my aunt, I apologise if anyone sees it that way. I spoke of general things that derived specifically from her statement.

It's a girl!

2009-05-04T00:47:00.004+08:00

Nadia finally gave birth after 4 dull waiting days at the hospital (gawd, that was torture).. so here she is.. yes, another niece... Hakim insists that we name her "Danish"... obviously we're not gonna name her that.

Fair skin, just like her parents... pretty as per her mommy. No name yet as of now, but we're nick-naming her as "Zara"

Mwahz,
Muaz Al Rashid

A small change; a huge impact

2009-04-27T22:53:00.007+08:00

When you construct yourself a huge pyramid out of playing cards, and you decide to take, let’s not say a few, but one... one of the cards (from the middle or the base) away from the pyramid... it will definitely fall no?

So would you agree when I say “a small change can make a huge impact”?

I guess that most of you might agree with me... something small can easily turn itself into a huge statement. – keep this thought.

Alright, so most of you who have probably read my blog from my Coffee with Muaz times, would understand perfectly that I had an eating disorder: I was anorexic, and I was also bulimic (not at the same time).

I spoke on my personal battle with weight over time and how fat comments directed at me would instantly affect my psychological well-being. Don’t judge me... you just do not call a former bulimic fat, it’s like giving a cigarette to a person who’s trying to quit smoking... or handing a carton of beer to a recovering alcoholic. The effect can be highly disastrous; like I said, small gesture, huge impact.

It is just the nature of a former bulimic to be bugged by fat comments. Which is what I’m experiencing, but it does not mean that I do not respect your opinions.

I am deeply upset with certain individuals who think that I take their opinions towards my weight for granted. Yes, I KNOW that I’ve shed some weight, but remember who I was... fat comments get to me. It is my nature, I’m still recovering. Put yourself in my shoes... and try to understand my situation, try to see it from my point of view.

That’s one thing... Why do I call myself a FORMER bulimic? That’s because I don’t force myself to barf my food anymore. Which, coming from a former bulimic is a MAJOR improvement (something small.. but a huge impact to my life). And I have some of you to thank for it, for without you, I wouldn’t have garnered the courage, confidence and positivity to stop throwing up my food. So therefore, for you to say that I do not respect your opinion, at all, is complete bull to me. If it wasn’t for your opinion... if it wasn’t for your encouragement... if it wasn’t for YOU... I would probably still be barfing out my food.

It is just frustrating that just because I am bugged by certain comments, you think that I do not respect your opinions at all. You obviously have not realised my progress... you obviously have not noticed my improvement – which to me is a point to celebrate. Like really, a bulimic who stopped barfing? Isn’t that a cause to celebrate? Isn’t that the whole idea of quitting bulimia, to stop puking?

So yes.. like I said.. I’m still recovering... regardless of the fact that I get bugged by fat comments made by certain people, I have never gone back to the extremes of bulimia and anorexia.

What is small to you might be perceived big by others. You might not care that I stopped barfing, but to me, that’s huge progress... I’m proud of myself... and I thought you would be too. I have never gone back to extreme crazy “diets” and forced barfing, if I get comments like that, I tend to just cut down a little bit on my food intake and/or hit the gym. That little change in my lifestyle has done me great so far... I have you to thank... You just need to open your eyes up a bit to realise it..

Walk a mile in my shoes...
Muaz Al Rashid

Before reaching the peak

2009-04-27T18:06:00.003+08:00

Yes, I get it, I haven’t updated nothing since God knows when... but really? Would you wanna hear me rant pointless and mundane things? I don’t update for the sake of updating... thus.

SO, if some of you can possibly tell, I have been extremely busy lately... working from the early morning until late night most days... and I feel amazingly liberated over the fact that I’ve been having two nights off in a row... aaahhh.... shower me with tranquillity and relaxation..

Regardless..
So, both my sisters are married... there’re 4 of us Al-Rashid kids.. and with me being the first born son (I’m the second), I get the magic Asian question: “Kau bila lagi, Muaz?” loosely translated as “So when’s your turn?”

Why did I say “magic Asian question”? ‘cos it seems like an Asian thing.. Once you’ve graduated... or reaching your mid 20s (I’m only friggin’ 23) , people (older relatives most of the time) would start flooding you with that particular question... at times it’s just unbearable... most times, it is downright annoying.

Really, what is with us Asian’s obsession with getting married so early? When I told my aunt once that I decide to get married when I’m 30, she went ballistic!

In our early 20’s, there’s still a lot for us to learn and self-develop before settling down with a family. I want to be fully prepared, and be able for sure (financially, in most cases) to support my family in the future. I don’t wanna look back and say “sigh, I should’ve done this first... I should’ve thought about building a house first... now why didn’t I plan??”

That’s just talking about finance.. maturity is another thing... Yes, I get jealous when I see my friends and relatives looking ever so gorgeous on their dais, and I totally envy them with their babies in the arms, but, am I ready to pursue a family? Am I really ready to have my own kids? Am I ready to lead? I have yet to even figure who I am as a person (in a lot of aspects) and what I want to do (teaching no? Teaching yes? Police? A diplomat? A journalist?)

So if I can’t figure out who I am... how can I lead a whole family? Some say, when you actually started your family, you will then discover your true path... But I question thee... isn’t that a bit too late?

Anyway... This is what I’m saying... there’s a lot more to life and growing up than to get married early... getting married early does not prove that you’ve matured... I know a lot of people who could serve as a perfect example to this.

So, I’m saying... before you wish to lead... lead yourself first... a year from now for me isn’t enough... I want to discover the world... discover what I am able to do... learn things... be satisfied with myself... Sound a lil’ bit self-centred? No, I don’t think so..

In reaching a peak, you’ve tones of valleys and obstacles to endure.. I want to make sure that I am able to go through them before jumping into the bandwagon.. You just don't climb a mountain without having to make sure you're fit enough to do it.. I don't want to end up failing half-way through

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Headliner

2009-04-21T08:56:00.005+08:00

I got into the staffroom and saw this on my desk... and I stared at this particular headline for like a good 3 minutes, trying to figure out what in the world does it mean...

I was badly hoping that it's not a typo... I even asked my colleagues from both the English and Malay department about it.. and the verdict: it makes no sense. IF it actually is indeed correct, could someone please provide me with an explanation as to why there is an apostrophe there...? thanks

Love
Muaz Al Rashid

Are you there yet?

2009-04-20T09:21:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a rut? Like you have arrived to that particular moment in life where life basically runs like a routine as opposed to an ever flowing river with unexpected twists and turns, but you’re not ready... You’re not ready to settle down... You don’t want to settle down! Not now...

But it seems like it... that you are... without choice...

Ever felt that?

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

To forget

2009-04-08T07:46:00.003+08:00

How are you supposed to put things aside when people keep pushing it BACK to you?

How are you supposed to feel appreciated when in compared between two; the other seems to be more displayed and celebrated whilst you were merely briefly mentioned?

How are you supposed to forget if a reminder slaps you back in the face?

How are you supposed to forgive when the mistake comes stabbing you back?

No, I don't know the answers to these questions...

For now, lemme just literally take a chill pill and meditate.

Muaz Al Rashid

Shuffle Quiz

2009-03-30T11:58:00.002+08:00

I can safely say that the ridiculousness of this quiz has led me to become addicted to it. haha.. it's just hilarious and a nice way to completely waste time.. haha

regardless.. here's another one. Think you should know how to play it by now.

1) Are you male or female?
- Not as we (Alanis Morissette) - wohooo what does that supposed to mean?? lol

2) Describe Yourself!
- Behind these hazel eyes (Kelly Clarkson) – hahaha.. at least it describes my eyes.. only mine are brown rather than hazel.. but close..

3)What do people feel when they're around you?
- No Air (Jordin Sparks) – apparently I suffocate them.. HAHAH

4) Describe your current relationship.
- Seasons of love (Rent soundtrack) – err... okay

5)Where would you like to be right now?
- Everywhere (Michelle Branch) – Is it just me or this is starting to kinda get freaky? lol

6) How Do You Feel About Love?
- All the love in the world (The Corrs) – “don’t wanna wake up alone anymore~~”

7) What's Your Life Like?
- Grace Kelly (Mika) – WHO?! “am I too dirty am I too flirty?~~” lol

8) What would you ask for if you had one wish?
- Seribu Tahun (Imran Ajmain) – and what am I gonna do for another thousand years?

9) Say Something Wise:
- Far away (Nickleback) – eey?

10) If Someone Says' Is this okay? you say...?
- Cha cha (chelo) – HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA *ROFLMAO*

11) How would you describe yourself?
- U & Ur hand (Pink) – HAHA NOW it starts to go all irrelevant but “just you and your hand tonight” - busyet

12) What do you like in a guy/girl?
- Rock your body (Justin Timberlake) – All about the body baby.. haha

13) How Do You feel Today?
- I’m Yours (Jason Mraz) – awww...

14) What is Your Life Purpose?
- T Shirt (Shontelle) – I knew it! It’s a sign! :D

15)What is your motto?
- Sexed Up (Robbie Williams) – I would like to say a lot of things to this but I rather not.. lol

16) What do your friends think of you?
- Mama, I’m a big girl now (Hairspray soundtrack) – HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH SIALAN!!!

17) What do you think of your parents?
- Mr Curiosity (Jason Mraz) – hmmm what would I be curious about?

18) What Do You think About very often?
- Don’t Stop the music (Rihanna) – don’t ever stop it

19) What is 2+2?
- In your mind (Anggun) – It’s all in your mind, in your mind~ i.e. pikir sendere! haha

20) What do you think of your bestfriend(s)?
- Walk Away (Kelly Clarkson) – whoa whoa!! What’s this??! Z what are you not telling me?? hahaha

21) What do you think of the person you like?
- If I ain’t got you (Alicia Keys) – nice.. ;)

22) What is your life story?
- Irreplaceable (Ne Yo) – oh yeah~

23) What do you want to be when you grow up?
- You (switchfoot) – I don’t wanna be anyone else but myself...

24) What do you think of when you see the person you like?
- Simply the best (Tina Turner) – HAHAH okayy~

25) What will you dance to at your wedding?
- Terlalu Istimewa (Adibah Noor) – Isn’t this song about special needs people?

26) What will they play at your funeral?
- I don’t wanna miss a thing (Aerosmith) – nope, not a thing, not even my funeral

27) What is your hobby/interest?
- Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne) – uh? Ha ha ha

28) What is your biggest fear?
- Ice Box (Omarion) – it’s a scary machine that fridge.. LOL

29) What is your biggest fear?
- The Day you went away (M2M) – perfectly said but then WHY is this question repeated??

Have a nice day babies!
Muaz Al Rashid

Passion

2009-03-30T11:19:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or the mindset of the vast majority is this: “get a job that pays well and stick with it”?

Yes, I do understand the value of money especially given the atrociousness that is the economic crisis at the moment. Everything requires money, thus the more money you generate – the better.

But is it really? I have been approached and queried numerous times over the possibility of joining the educational force as a teacher. They always attempt to convince me of the job over the talent that I have with it and the amount of money generated from it. And I’m never convinced; it is great that UBD gives me the chance to undertake teaching practice as it gives me the opportunity to explore the life of an English teacher; the responsibility that I would carry and the amount of task pilled on me.

But that’s not entirely what I seek for from this whole experience. I seek for the passion for the job; yes, I enjoy teaching, but I lack the passion for being a teacher. Passion for a job to me is the essence; the drive that would wake me up every day and keeps me looking forward to going to work; the ecstasy that would keep me going. And I have yet to garner that from being a teacher. I want to go to teach every morning with the feeling that I get from going to work as newscaster at night.

What’s talent if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing? What’s money when you’re not happy? Do I really want a good paying job that doesn’t make me happy? That’s the question I often ask myself.

When I expressed this to a friend of mine, all she said was this “You can’t have everything in life”. That’s true, but what if you have the opportunity to make a difference – to do something you’re passionate about instead of just going after the money.

You can’t have everything in life:

Good paying job that I don’t enjoy versus a job that I love that pays less.

That still follows the whole concept of not having everything – so yes, life is thus about choices; you can’t have it all but you get to choose which one you want to gain and which you would want to let go.

I want to go to work feeling elated – I want to go to work with a smile on my face. I want to be happy about my job; so far, I have yet to get that feeling from being a teacher. I know what to do and how to do it, but I’m just not excited about it.

Having the passion for the job that you’re doing is extremely vital – at least to me. You don’t get that a lot here; a lot of people think that you’re job is simply as it is; just a job. No, it isn’t – it’s part of your life. Yes, having a lot of money is great, but for me, I’d trade money over happiness any day. When you see me, I probably come out as materialistic due to how I represent myself, but there’s more to me than that.

Materialism is entertaining, but would you really feel content with just that? I think life has a much bigger purpose than to just cater to your materialistic needs – thus why I seek for my more – I don’t know what my purpose in life is, but that would unveil in time, for now, I know that I want the job that I would be doing is something I’m very passionate about. Regardless if I’m not going to get as much pay, at least I would be happy. Job satisfaction is not just about the money.

You know what else I would always like to do? Charity work – that’s my aim this year, I’ve always said to myself to serve a better purpose and do more charities. Start small – start local and maybe someday; UNICEF? Charity work in Africa? Who knows..

Kind Regards,
Muaz Al Rashid

A summary

2009-03-27T22:37:00.000+08:00

This basically sums up my day today

Third Party

2009-03-27T19:29:00.000+08:00

Tapi kini ku sadar ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti
Ini semua harus terjadi...

Sucks right, when you feel like you're in between?
Muaz Al Rashid

NOT the dad!

2009-03-27T18:47:00.000+08:00

Remember the story about the 13 year old baby-faced teen that made international headlines by becoming a father?

well, a DNA test has proven that Alfie Patten is indeed NOT the father to Maisie Roxanne!

After the wave of controversy regarding the new dad, apparently six other teenagers have come forth claiming that they too had sex with Chantelle Steadman, Maisie's mother.

The claims have pushed Alfie to take a paternity test, and as the result surfaces; he is not the dad.

what the eff.

*cough* SLUT! *cough*

Truth will always come to the surface no matter how hard you try to cover it all up.

Yours Truly,
Muaz Al Rashid

Presence

2009-03-19T09:54:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve achieved or done something you consider as one of the most important moments of your life; and you want to celebrate with the people you love – the people you care – you want to hug them and want them to tell you how proud they are of you regardless of whether or not you were amazing. And yet, you search within the crowds for these people – these important people in your life – and they’re not there – and all you can say is “yay me” and probably get comments from people you barely know.

A typical family movie tends to include this kind of scenario in their plot – because, well, support from your loved ones means a lot. And for you to have done something that you’ve been wanting to do – at the end you just want to celebrate with those you love. When they’re just not there – well... what else is there to do? You can’t force people to show support... you can’t force people to show you they love you...

At times like this, you just have to bear with it...

To you... somehow... I now know how you felt. I’m sorry.

Sincerely,
Muaz Al Rashid

Set a date

2009-03-18T15:00:00.000+08:00

If you're a marvel maniac like moi, you might enjoy this lil news here.

Marvel studios has recently released new dates for the up-coming comic movies..

Iron Man 2 - May 7, 2010
Spiderman 4 - May 6, 2011
Thor - June 17, 2011
The First Avenger: Captain America - July 22, 2011
The Avengers - May 4, 2012

I know I know they're all at least a year or two ahead.. But a guy can still be excited no? huhu

Not really looking forward for Spiderman 4 though, given the utter terribleness of the third installment.

Hero up,
Muaz Al Rashid

Movie Review: Dragonball Evolution

2009-03-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

I’ve waited long for this movie with great anticipation and excitement as Dragonball Z is one of those comics that I was a fan of as a kid. I’m not claiming that I know every single detail to storyline in the comic plot but I know quite a number of its basics and some interesting bits and pieces. So to get one of my favourite comics’ or books’ plots or storyline butchered is an absolute crime to me: this movie did just that. I need not mention which parts are just way off course; it’s just really that disappointing.

The storyline for this movie is absolutely bland; it’s the same feeling you get when you’re going off to work and signing in – it’s way too straight forward, with not a single twist. It’s like reading a kindergarten storybook! Well, supposedly there is a twist in it; given the fact that a character is indeed another character (yes, I’m trying not to provide spoilers); but it’s done too bland that the surprise meant nothing. It’s as if you’re unenergetically saying “surprise” instead of shouting it.

The acting ranges between mediocre to downright dreadful. You’d thought Chow Yun Fatt and Emmy Rossum would have helped support the unrecognisable cast of this movie – but no. Emmy Rossum’s performance as Bulma was painful; it was so impassionate that she actually sounded like she was just reading the script instead of delivering the character. At some point, she actually even sound like she was miming!

Chow Yun Fatt was, similarly, surprisingly bad. The way he delivered his lines sounded very fake.

I don’t get why Goku isn’t Japanese or at least even Asian... but that’s beside the point – as a main character, this guy could not portray the amount of emotion that should be present. I think his weak performance contributed greatly to the failure of this movie in evoking any particular emotion. He was only able to provoke humour – but anything beside that just falls down to the ground.

Dreadful to mediocre acting coupled with an extremely sleep-inducing plot; this movie has unfortunately been listed to me as just downright disastrous. It’s as if they just decided to make a movie after an hour’s drinking session – pick whoever is available to act at the time – AND write the scripts spontaneously with very few research and not let any of the characters learn it.

I swear, everyone seems to be just reading and not delivering! Heck even my nephew can do that!!

Verdict: Isn’t it obvious? Don’t watch it – a COMPLETE waste of time.

Regards,

Muaz Al Rashid

How Asian are you?

2009-03-17T19:42:00.000+08:00

Got tagged by C-yah.. Looks kinda interesting-is, plus I've got absolutely nothing to do and there's nothing cool or interesting to blog about.. oh oh except that I have a movie review coming your way.. hehe

regardess.. the tag:

[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn" - what the eff is that??!
[ ] You think DDR is cool
[ ] You've watched lots of anime
[ ] You like Korean drama
[ ] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[ ] Your parents want you to marry within your own race
[x] You eat rice almost everyday
[x] You drink lemon tea
X's so far: 4

[x] You style your hair
[x] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster/facebook - doesn't everyone?~
[x] You speak languages other than English
[ ] Your parents are strict compared to other REALLY asian parents
[x] Your parents have high expectations of you
[ ] You always get A's/B's on your report
[ ] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[ ] You know your multiplication table - I have Math learning disability for goodness sake!
[ ] You play badminton or table tennis
[x] You've seen the asian version The ring/The grudge
X's so far: 9

[ ] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
[x] You own an asian car (Honda, Toyota, etc)
[x] You're not the only child
[x] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[ ] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and taekwondo
[ ] (If you're a girl)You prefer white guys over asian guys (If you're a guy) You prefer asian girls[ ] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can do the rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[ ] You play video games
X's so far: 13

[ ] Everytime you're going out your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[ ] You have karaoke at home
[ ] You know BOA/Gazette/Ayumi Hamasaki/Gackt
[ ] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times.
[ ] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[ ] You own a gaming console
[ ] You play a musical instrument
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[x] You get nothing if you do well in school
X's so far: 16

[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[ ] You don't like football(soccer)
[ ] You have a curfew
[ ] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[ ] You know what purikura is
[x] You like bubble tea
[ ] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[ ] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies
X's so far: 18

[ ] You know what bok choy is
[ ] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[ ] You have a tutor
[ ] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[ ] When you seek for your mother's permission she replies "Ask your dad
"X's so far: 18

Your total x 2

Result: 36%

WTF I'm only 36% Asian?? hahahaha didn't see that coming

You know what else sucks?

2009-03-16T09:03:00.000+08:00

Invigilating.

An hour (or even hours) of doing nothing except stare blindly at tense students answering their exam or test papers..

An hour of my life each time I do so - - feels completely wasted, we're not even allowed to do our endless marking! Isn't this the era of high technology? Isn't there a gadget to replace this mind-numbing task??

pleh,
Muaz Al Rashid

I tried to understand I did..

2009-03-15T21:33:00.000+08:00

but I failed completely..

I fail to understand WHY - WHY posh would ever wear those:

Someone PLEASE tell me what's hot about that.. Really.. Make me understand

Apparently, those are Louis Vuitton's "Spicy Sandals" and they cost around 2K - dangabit!

Migrained,

Muaz Al Rashid

parakbumbum

2009-03-15T20:46:00.000+08:00

Yea I don't get the title either.

Apparently I learned that if your voice is "lawa" you're a radio DJ..

Please people.. I am NOT a radio DJ... You don't hear me rambling on and on for hours on the radio - ever, even if I'd really love to (biar kamu sanak). The longest I "appear" on the radio is for my 15 minutes radio main news - apart from that.. none

zero

nada

zilch

I'm not a radio DJ..

bukan wah

bukan!

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeshh

Yours Truly,
Muaz Al Rashid

What if your ex asked you this?

2009-03-15T19:06:00.000+08:00

This was tagged to me via facebook and I find it rather hilarious - well that's because Amy's hilarious ahaha - and I've decided to actually give it a shot.

Note: I'm not really into the whole ex-bashing (only at times when the time feels right - lol) as you know, you move on to be the wiser one and let them be the immature lil brats talking bulls about you to people. haha.

Regardless.. here's the tag:

What If Your Ex Ask this..? You have to answer the survey with an honest heart. An honest heartwill give you good luck for the entire year. You may imagine of one people or maybe some people not only one. [this sounds EXTREMELY bull - I hate it when there're emails or SMS threatening me to get bad luck if I don't spread it out - sial mendoakan urang]

Answer it, "What if your ex says" referring to you!!!

[oh oh! wait! but which ex??! - ah whichever, Ima just assume this talks about my last]

1. Why did you let me go?
; you want me to, you twat

2. I still love you.
; HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA *dies laughing*

3. When did we last talk?
; years ago it seems? I don't know.. and I don't really care to know..

4. Will you go out with me?
; awww.... maybe when you grow up *sings ala PCD's when YOU grow up"

6. I cannot keep my promise to you.
; which one? *apakan?*

7. My friends say we don't look good together..
; yes.. and we're not together no more.. how's that a big deal?

8. You have changed.
; I'm better now... :)

9. Can we get back together?
; God no.

10. Oh, I know what this is all about. You found someone else.
; AHAHAHAHHA still full of yourself aren't you?

11. Don't you realize? You are the one who hurt me!
; wow.. and here I am thinking I was the innocent one.. of which I still think I am.. and really, if I hurt you - WHY would wanna be with me again?

12. how can u forget our memories??
; tainted honey..

13. I will always love you.
; and IIIIII~~~~~ will alwayyss~~~~~~ move on~~

14. Would you die for our love?
; Hell no..

16. Kiss me to break the curse if i sleep for a hundred years.
; And to break the stats of having one less twat in the world? hell no..

17. What's the difference between me and Him/Her.
; lemme describe YOU; extreme over-possesiveness and immaturity

18. I saw you last night with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
; ahuh.. yes, Brunei IS quite small you know..

19. Without me, your life wouldn't be complete.
; funny.. I don't feel that..

20. Why are you doing this to me!?
; Doing what exactly?

AHAHAHAHAHAHHA

With EXTREME sincerity,
Muaz Al Rashid

Tears down my face

2009-03-12T18:02:00.000+08:00

I have tears flowing out of my eyes over the utter and ultimate beauty of this:

Sigh

Someone please get them for me.

Kind Regards,
Muaz Al Rashid

Should you walk away to make room for someone else's happiness?

2009-03-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

Image by Itchitaka

Have you ever been in a position where you feel like you’re an obstruction between two people’s happiness?

This is normally in the case of love triangles, you love the person and you don’t want to let go, but you have this strong guilt in you that you’re blocking the path between two people’s happiness... that you feel that they deserve to be happy regardless of the fact that you won’t be.

In cases like this, someone has to step out; and if nobody is... it’s not going to go anywhere... and if you feel the guilt, don’t you think that person should be you?

It’s hard isn’t it? To let go... especially on something or someone that you really care about... and especially to let it go to somebody else.

At times you just have to realise the position you are in... You can’t have everything in life.. ...

but yet.... you don't want to give up....... . . . what're you going to do?

This post is so contradicting.. I know..

Sincerely,

Muaz Al Rashid

Growth

2009-03-11T08:09:00.002+08:00

People make mistakes – it’s human nature, people are bound to make mistakes and learn to grow out of it. What I feel is hard for a number of people to do is to accept and take full responsibilities of the mistakes that they’ve done and not to blame others for it.

Yes, some might argue that you did a particular error in judgement because of someone; but there’s always a lot of other ways to solve a situation; there are always other options. What’ve you decided to do is all up to you – thus you have to accept full responsibility for what you’ve done – do not blame someone else for leading. At the end of the day, you’re your own leader. Someone else may have lured you into doing something, but it was your decision to follow suit anyway.

A troubled student who refuses to do his homework and has a bad discipline record is often heard as telling “my parents don’t give a damn, they’re always fighting with each other, and I hate being at home”. What parents have done have always been linked to students’ discipline problem such as this; but really? If you’re parents are fighting at home – what does that have anything to do with your behaviour in school? Why should you use that as a reason to completely disregard your own future? You should be using that as the fuel to get a better life, not to continuously ruin it.

The drugs that you took – it’s YOU who took them, nobody forced you, even if someone did force you to take them, you could still say no and walk away (or punch the f*ckin’ a-hole in the bloody face).

Your parents don't love you? Don't let that stop you from loving yourself!

You’re making up excuses and blaming others for your own behaviour, your own action. You did it – you take the responsibility, learn from your mistakes and grow out of it.

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from” (Al Franken)

Grow,
Muaz Al Rashid

Either Or

2009-03-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Life is all about choice; quite a number of times you’d be facing “either ors” as opposed to “and”. In terms on choosing to do something between two people; you will always – always – end up hurting either one, however it may seem possible. It is up to you to prioritise who it is that you decide to hurt... which one you decide to disappoint. There people can observe how you manage your priorities; who comes before whom; who you have deemed to be of greater importance to your life.

For instance, you’re off to dinner with some old friends without your boyfriend, and it’s a girl’s night out (or whatever), so you’ve decided not to text your boyfriend when you were leaving or what you were doing REGARDLESS of the fact that YOU would endlessly text your boyfriend on his whereabouts. When the boyfriend queries about your lack of information; you said “it’s rude to text in front of your friends”. So let’s see here; texting in front of your friends – supposedly trying to be respectful (even though sending ONE message wouldn’t even actually seem to hurt ANYONE) versus being a complete hypocrite to your own boyfriend.

The degree of hurt then thus varies with what you did or did not do, in doing the former; you’d only probably just annoy your friend for a second – as it doesn’t take that long to compose a message, unless you’re sending him a 10,000 words essay on human civilisation, but your boyfriend would be insulted longer given the fact that everytime he would go out – you’d be asking him on his whereabouts.

When you’re stuck in between things like that, think of your priorities. Think of how the other person might feel. Who you choose to hurt greatly reflects on how important you deem that person is in your life. And especially think of what you expect from people.

Never expect anything from anyone if you’re not doing the same for them. That would just make you selfish.

You can’t have everything, not everyone can make everyone happy. Not everything in life can be balanced. You’re bound to let someone down – it is completely up to you to figure out who that someone is.

You can ask people to understand your situation – but can YOU understand theirs?

Sincerely,
Muaz Al Rashid

Water

2009-03-10T09:02:00.000+08:00

This was actually written much earlier as a guideline to one of my students who's participating in a speech competition; way too many changes were made and thus the final speech turns out to be completely different from what I've initially written.

And since I'm not competing, and I don't want to waste what feels like to me would be a really good speech, I'm posting it here (mind you the first part of the speech is deleted as it serves as an introduction to the student - thus the rather abrupt start here):

I stepped forward, toes first and then slowly submerging my whole self into the pool. Swimming in the clear serene waters makes me feel light; like as if with each stroke, I slowly feel depression slips out of me and I walked away – feeling completely new – completely refreshed.

Clean unpolluted water symbolises beauty and peacefulness – not just to those swimming in it but to those observing it. Unfortunately, as much as most of us understand how beautiful and healthy clean water is – many tend to disregard it – utilising it as a waste dumping area instead of maintaining the gorgeous natural landscape.

The government has provided various waste collection system and centres, but we still see indiscriminate dumping of waste everywhere, particularly in the Brunei River. Why is this?

The Brunei River holds one of Brunei’s most cherished heritage; The Kampong Ayer, and yet it is covered with rubbish. It baffles me as to how a lot people seem to not realise that they’re degrading the beauty of our cultural heritage – damaging one our tourists’ main attractions and creating an eyesore on the Bruneian identity.

It pains me to see that locally captured video, published in the internet on September 2007, showing two municipal workers in the capital dumping trash into the river in Bandar. Mixed responses arose from this horrifying video; a lot – fortunately – were embarrassed and understood the workers’ negligence towards water pollution – but sadly, some placed the blame completely on others and completely deterred away from the main issue of water pollution.

His Majesty’s titah some time ago can be interpreted as saying “ask not what the country can do for you, but what you can do for our country”.

We, as youth – the new generation – we need to step up and save our heritage –instil the spirit of nationalism whilst preserving our most treasured asset: nature. The government has done its best to provide various facilities – it is up to us to implement and take action.

Yours truly,

Muaz Al Rashid

Who art thou?

2009-03-09T12:22:00.001+08:00

You know those magazine quizzes that question you with really weird psychological questions? And you answer them - and it tells you (apparently) who you are, and some of the results are just eerily true? HOW do they do it?

I took the quiz from Giorgie of the jungle's post (here's the link to the test), and yes, the questions are yet again; weird. But my eyes just perked up from some of the points; they have me points down, some other points made me ponder.

Regardless.... this is me - apparently.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve

Don't you think it's always fun to learn a lil' bit of something about you that you may not realise all these time?

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Seni Bina Masjid (and a few tricks of the trade for beginners)

2009-03-07T16:17:00.000+08:00

I had a shoot the other day in Temburong for a new documentary that I’m doing on mosque architecture, and I was randomly taking pictures of things and I remembered then that quite a number of people asked me how the process would be.

So as I’m talking through my experience, here’s also a simple trick of the trade for those who want to venture into TV presenting here in Brunei (note: this is coming from a beginner’s – yes I am a beginner – point of view to help those who wants to begin).

First things first, I don’t live in Temburong and I was told that I was supposed to meet the crews at 7am over at their studio – this means you would have to wake up around 5am – why?

Make up. People on TV always get constant criticisms, so to look good and presentable is necessary. Make up for anyone on TV is essential. If you’re like me, i.e. you feel awkward to go out and buy make up on your own, drag your sisters or your girlfriends with you – this will help you feel less awkward in front of the sales girl.

Your essentials: Foundation, blushes, loose or pressed powder, and lip balm. Quite a number of times (in Brunei), we don’t normally get a make-up artist at the ready, so we have to apply it ourselves, make up for men is a lot easier than girls’ but if you apply a bit too much or if you got the wrong colour/s on your face, you’d end up looking like a drag. Why else do you need make up? Lightings can easily make you look pale; make up helps you look brighter and fresher (and it helps conceal your flaws). Check out this video (more available in Youtube) if you do not know how to:

Then, of course you meet your crews. Particularly for beginners, never turn up late – this should apply to everyone – your discipline shows your commitment – words get around quickly – you’d land more jobs with better reviews from your director. Never whine and never complain, and be nice to everyone. Whoever says “being bitchy is THE way in TV” is a twat with a brain capacity of a gnat. Familiarise yourself with the crews. Smile at least if you’re naturally socially awkward like me (ahuh yes I am – go ahead and laugh).

*Loooooonngg queue in the morning*

Oh yes, shootings can be done anywhere, ask your director on these details. This is so that you’d be ready. Like yesterday, we went to Temburong by car; passport at the ready – and make sure it hasn’t expired.

Quite a number of times, you would only receive your script on the day of the shoot itself – this you have to be ready mentally and emotionally. It can be really annoying and stressful, especially for a beginner, but do not overwhelm yourself with it; otherwise you wouldn’t be able to perform to your best capabilities. Relax and go through your script, edit parts that should be edited – but don’t overdo the editing at this point so as not to offend any parties. If possible, sought permission from your director if you’d like to edit anything and make the script comfortable for you.

To work well in front of the camera, you need to be comfortable in your own skin, practise a few times in front of a mirror, or you can record yourself presenting at home using your webcam. The more comfortable you are, the less takes it’ll take during the actual shooting, which means you can get things over and done in no time.

My first time in front of the camera – I don’t remember how many takes I had to do, but for sure it was a lot. It takes awhile to get comfortable in front of the camera – but work on it, don’t take too long; as I’ve said, words get around and people like to exchange information. Furthermore, one of the few reasons why I had so many takes at first (when I did Fenomena) was because it was done in Standard Malay. My Malay wasn’t that very good – I had to relearn it to be comfortable speaking it. Yes, studies and research helps you a long way.

Back to the topic of the documentary that I’m doing, it’s basically about mosques architectures and history – kind of “Jejak Rasul”-ish, without the whole relation to the prophet, and there’re two versions of this documentary; the Malay and English. I’m only trusted with English – like I said, words spread – at this stage a whole lot of people do not trust me with Malay, yet – something I REALLY need to work on. The Malay version will be aired in RTB1 and presented by Malik, whilst mine will be on RTB International.

We were shooting at Masjid Utama Mohammad Salleh in Bangar on that day. It happens to be the main mosque in the area. I didn’t get to explore Temburong unfortunately, but would love to, it sucks that I’m a Bruneian and that shoot happened to be my second trip to the district. Think I should go there more after I graduate.

Oh, and we (the presenters) opted to go back home via speedboat – I felt a bit seasick afterwards, but the wind in my face felt amazing.

Oh, and quite a number of you are probably wondering, given my personality, WHY am I doing this documentary. People who know me – knows I’m a lot more towards entertainment than doing anything serious like this. One thing I learned is that it is good to try different things, discover your hidden talents (if there is any), try to branch out to different things; basically just expand your horizon. I don’t like labels, thus.

Hope some of the tips here might actually help someone out there.

Cheers!
Muaz Al Rashid

A second birthday: unbeliveable miracle

2009-03-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

This made it to World News last night (when I was reading) and my jaw just dropped when I was going through my script; and I could not wait for the VT to play.

Turkish Cem Tocak (who is in his thirties) survived the train-lorry collision and walked away with only minor injuries. MIRACULOUS!

He celebrated that day as his "second birthday" - I should've brought back home my script from last night.

But yeah, this guy basically escaped death - reminds me of the Final Destination movie series. Surviving a near death experience as crazy as that. Wow - just wow.

In awe,
Muaz Al Rashid

Rip - slap - and dispose

2009-03-04T12:00:00.000+08:00

AHAHAH why does that sound kinky? Or is it just me?

regardless..

So we buy all these shit expensive shades of whatever brands, but truth remains - they break easily - that's 500 bucks worth of Oakleys there snapping underneath your bum.

Disposable tape sunglasses to the rescue! These fug looking shades are designed by Azumi and David (who apparently are designing more out it, like watches and stuff), it's basically a roll tape, you rip a pair and slap it on your face, because what else looks good on your face other than a tape yes? (can you feel the sarcasm?)

Would you wear this thing? For the love of everything else that's good - I would never.

Although, taping it on a t-shirt does look kinda cool no?

Adios,

Muaz Al Rashid

News update

2009-03-04T11:20:00.001+08:00

So a lot of people have been querying me with regards to the recent RTB news audition.

We newscasters are not usually updated on audition progress, BUT last I heard they were still reviewing the videos from the last audition.

I asked one of our bosses regarding how long it will take them to gain results from the 1st audition, and he said it would take about a month or two; given the huge number of participants and they wanted to make sure they will end up with the right picks (and since it's only march - and if you haven't received any calls, there's probably still hope).

and as far as I know, only those who make it to the second audition will be notified.

Just for extra information:

Auditions are held in three stages; you've gone through the first...

- the second will be the semi-finals; will be held in RTB's news studio (studio 3) and you'll be asked to wear formal news attire (you should know how it looks like by now) - no green please.

- the third is the finals - you'll be notified with regards to the results either a day or few days after the semis.

All the best!

Best wishes,
Muaz Al Rashid

The rule of thumb

2009-03-03T18:21:00.001+08:00

There's a lot of things to consider prior to getting on air; the colour of our outfits for newscasting is among those amazingly important bits.

Why? Well... to look good, that's one thing.. and the colour should not clash with the colours of our background and the colour of our CSO.. so that means no blue for News at 10

For those who do not know; that green screen at the back there is called the CSO:

and this is the main MAIN reason, WHY we should never wear green:

haha! thanks Failblog!

Adios!
Muaz Al Rashid

That fork in the path

2009-03-03T08:17:00.001+08:00

Have you ever been lost in a situation where you want to go ahead but you’re stuck at where you are?

You want to move... but the ground just wouldn’t let you do so. But you persisted, with great determination to grow out of it, and you managed – you walked ahead.

Sounds great - - if you’re walking alone.

What if you have to walk hand in hand? What if you have to walk with someone else?

That’s how a relationship is... a journey between two. Two have to walk the path, enduring what’s coming up ahead, happily enjoying the cruise whilst working together to get past the tide. Both need to be strong and fight for what both believe in, not giving up because love is inarguably not easy to find.

Someone has once said to me “If you found love, keep it”.

But can you keep it when the other doesn’t want to? How can you walk together ahead with someone who wants to stay behind? How can you walk hand in hand when the other has a completely different path in mind?

A relationship is not something you can force – let alone love. When the other wants to go to a completely path – you can’t force them to stay – you can’t beg them to walk with you.

And even though you know that one day you will eventually come to that fork in the path – and you say that you will have to brace yourself for when that time will come – but what if that time is coming sooner that you thought? What if that time is now?

A relationship requires two people having the desire to walk the same route – together. When one decides to walk in another – you then have no choice but to walk ahead - - on your own. As I’ve said, a journey between two requires both to be strong in facing the tide; when one is already weak – there’s no guarantee that both would not be drifted apart.

Sincerely,
Muaz Al Rashid

Rexona oh rexona..~

2009-03-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

Friend 1: Eh kamu ada rexona? (Do you have rexona?)

Friend 2 and 3: Rexona??! [perplexed because who the heck shares deodorant?!]

Friend 1: Awu wah.. yang untuk ilangkan cutex ah... (yeah, that thing you use to get rid off nail polish with)

Friend 2 and 3: ....................

Apparently she was looking for nail polish remover...

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Rexona~ biar out.. WHY?? WHYYYY? PORQUE??~

A day to remember,

Muaz Al Rashid

...

2009-03-01T17:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again

.......... skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.

Yours truly,

Muaz Al Rashid

Evolution?

2009-02-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

3 years.... Feels like only yesterday...

Do you see any difference? (apart from the 2009 me looks angrier.. haha)

Love,

Muaz Al Rashid

Waking up alone..

2009-02-27T13:24:00.000+08:00

Have you ever woke up feeling upmost despair.. Like you feel like your heart is clenched to its very core.. Like you feel something is missing... and then you turn to other side of the bed, and see that huge empty space...

And you would realise your day then would never be complete, how something small could have a huge impact on a day huh?

Yours truly,
Muaz Al Rashid

The next big thing

2009-02-27T02:25:00.000+08:00

Michael Schulte

Found him on youtube, damn amazing!

Why are we not celebrating?

2009-02-26T16:16:00.000+08:00

We celebrated the 25 years of our nation’s independence on the 23rd of February 2009, and it’s been a week since... and the country seems rather silent in celebrating the joyous and historical occasion.

What is going on? 25 years!! Silver Jubilee!! Our National Day!! Merdeka!! WHY are we not basking in the glory of it??

Where’s the “ perayaan” , the endless fireworks, the extravagant illuminations?? The illuminations found around the country seem rather mediocre and do not level themselves with the celebration.

After that one hour National Day parade on the 23rd, I waited and waited for an event that could reach the glorious climax of our 25 years of being a matured independent nation... but alas... none so far.. It’s quite disappointing.

Remember SEA Games’ Opening ceremony in Brunei back in 1999? It was so amazing – why can’t we have something like THAT to celebrate our independence? Come on Brunei - we could do better than this!

Sigh.

Sincerely,
Muaz Al Rashid

Truth, Cries and Lies..

2009-02-26T10:15:00.001+08:00

Lies and betrayal are two of the popular major causes of relationship failures. I asked one this once last time in CFM and I will pose this question again “why bother delving yourself into a committed relationship, when it is absolutely clear to you that you are either unprepared or simply terrified of commitment?”

I’ve done similar mistakes before and when I look back, I realise how completely foolish it was and thus I’ve made a pact with myself that I will not repeat the same stupidity.

However that’s from one side of the story. How about the other?

What if one is ready to make a commitment while the other is not? What will happen? There come lies and betrayals.

When one hides or lies about something, one will eventually keep lying to conceal that lie to a point where one day, it will overwhelm - - one day, that concealment will burst - - one day, everything will be out in the open. So why lie when you can tell the truth? In my case, I’d rather endure the pain of knowing the truth than live a fantastic life full of lies and deceits.

The truth sometimes hurts, but would you really want to live your life being lied to? Would you rather go on with a relationship when behind your back, your partner has a lot of other hidden agendas? A lot of people prefer to live the latter – prefer to live with the lies because they are afraid of losing what they have – losing that speck of happiness that they THINK they have.

Well, what you need to realise is that your “happiness” is not real, and if it isn’t real – is it really worth it?

I was talking to a friend once about another friend who’s insecure about his girlfriend for no apparent reason. She said this to me:

“When one is insecure about something for no reason at all – don’t you think that one is afraid that the other might do the same thing?”

I.e. The boyfriend has no reason to be paranoid, it just shows how peculiar the situation is... and by the sounds of it, the boyfriend himself has hidden agendas.

Is that so?

I’m not quite so sure of it myself.

Truthfully,
Muaz Al Rashid

A day in a life of a young teacher

2009-02-25T11:58:00.001+08:00

What's absolutely irritating about being a young teacher?

This:

Situation: Outside, I was passing by a group of giggling girls

Girls: Sir!
Me: *turns attention to them*
Girls: *wave and grin* Hi sir~
Me: *strictly* Hey
One of the girls: Ya suka sir nie sir!!

and this:

Situation: Class

Me: Alright give me a sentence using this sentence pattern
Girls: Sir Muaz is hot
Me: *annoyed* Something else please - serious girls.
Girls: Sir Muaz is cute

ARGH I tell you... ARGHHHH

Kids nowadays are just so straight forward, it's hard to get them to concentrate when you're young and new in the teaching world. Sigh.

Truly irritated,
Muaz Al Rashid

The 25th

2009-02-24T07:50:00.001+08:00

25 – a quarter of a century. The age 25 seems to always be associated with maturity (at least in Brunei) and apparently; marriage.

The typical teenager’s response to the question “when are you getting married” is “25”. So you can tell from there that the coming of age – the adulthood period – the time to fully accept responsibility as an adult is the age 25. Thus “Maturity in nationhood” for this year’s National Day theme was chosen (at least to my perspective).

Happy National Day Brunei Darussalam, 25 years has it been since we moved on from a protectorate to the independent country we are now. Many complain over the fact that we have slow progress in many areas – but take it this way, at least there IS progress.

And where else do you get free education and health care benefits?

Be grateful for what we have.

Yours Truly,
Muaz Al Rashid

Neva mess with ma weave girl~

2009-02-21T16:13:00.000+08:00

Straight from the news of all that is bizzare and fascinating, a woman(Briana Bonds of Kansas)'s hair weave has allegedly saved her from a gunshot fired by an ex boyfriend.

The 20-year-old Kansas City woman told police Juan Kemp, her ex-boyfriend, opened fire on her while she was inside her car at a Kansas City convenience store Wednesday night. Bonds' back window and tail light were shot out, but it is what police found in her weave that is amazing. Detectives pulled a spent bullet from the back of Bonds' head. It had become lodged in her weave.

A hair dresser, Kim Walton, finds it hard to believe that a weave could stop a bullet even though the weft is the strongest part of the weave and is most difficult to penetrate.

Believe it or not, it happened.

(Source)

Now I want a weave. Tyra where art thou??

Weave-less,

Muaz Al Rashid

Rihanna - Post Beating Photo

2009-02-21T00:13:00.000+08:00

Image from TMZ:

Holy Crap.

Baby faced dad

2009-02-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

I was just talking to a friend a few hours ago on how Adi Rani of Projectunes is expecting another child with his beautiful wife Jill, and how Adi has this everlasting baby-face look that makes him look my age. nyeh.

The same can be said to Alfie Patten - but for obvious reasons; he's THIRTEEN.

The four-footer — who looks no more than eight — said: “I know I’m young, but I plan to be a good dad.”
As he went on the PlayStation with 15-year-old girlfriend Chantelle Steadman, he added: “I think we’ll be good parents. I’ll have to work extra hard at school.”

Chantelle looked up from 18-rated action game Saints Row II to admit her first night out of hospital since having 7lb 3oz daughter Maisie had been tough and had left her “in a daze”.

(Click here for the full story: Source)

I know quite a number of cases of people getting knocked up, but thirteen?? Man, kids nowadays huh?

Teenage pregnancy has always been a taboo topic of discussion here in this country, but we should not deny the fact that it is happening and its rate is not going anywhere slower. Sex education is what the country requires, I know quite a number will squeel at the mention of "sex", but the rate of teen pregnancy, not just within the country, but worldwide; is rapidly increasing.

The country needs sex education, I remember my science teacher covertly teaching us on the subject as it wasn't (probably still isn't) included in the syllabus, but he thinks, given the current mindset of teenagers nowadays, it was his duty to educate his children on the matter.

What else do I think we need? Teen Pregnancy awareness. Yes, we do. If we want to slow down the rate of teenage pregnancy, not talking about it, keeping it hush-hush WILL NOT alleviate the problem.

Save our children, save our future,

Muaz Al Rashid

You can go the distance

2009-02-19T01:51:00.000+08:00

You know when I'm down and I feel like a complete failure, I sometimes resort to music of inspiration.

Lyrics that can help me bring me back to my feet, musical arrangement that could wake me up from my clueless daydream and energy that could tell me that I can do it.

This song happens to be one of it:

I've had an emotional night, I don't even know why. I was researching on where I should do my masters on Media and Communications or International Journalism. I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the fact that I'll be graduating from my degree in a couple of months. Four years of hard work (well not exactly the WHOLE of 4 years), will pay off eventually.

I'll be there someday,
Muaz Al Rashid

Taggies

2009-02-18T19:18:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Z on facebook, and since currently I'm contemplating whether or not to say yes to a sushi dinner invitation, I'll just give this a shot..

It's harder than you think!! Here is what you are supposed to do.. copy and paste into your own note, type in your answers and tag a bunch of people - including me.

Where is your cell phone
-Next to me - on the bed

Your hair
-uh? what's up with my hair? .. it's lookin' all "out of bed"

Your father
-...will be in Kuching AGAIN tomorrow.

Your favorite thing
-Currently.. My ring

Your dream last night
-I can't even remember

Your favorite drink
-Pearl Milk Tea from Easyway... hehe

Your dream/goal
-To be a noted and talented presenter

The room you are in
-mine

Your fear
-death - - oooh I know deep~

Where do you want to be in 6 years
-successful and by that I mean, NOT being in a classroom

One of your wish list items
-Mazda RX-8

Where you grew up
-Brunei

The last thing you did
-Faking an interest on the phone - - that doesn't sound right.. but Maurina has something to do with it.. YOU tricked me!!

What are you wearing
-Red B.U.M boxers.... yes that is it.

Your TV
-.... is not magical~

Your pets
-..are all dead.. yes, we're loving and caring..

Your computer
-... needs to be replaced one of these days..

Your life
-Is okay and could've been better...

Your mood
-Still contemplating.. Do I really want sushi?

Missing someone
-Yes... :'(

Your car
-Silver Swift yang kena langgar di RTB ever so often.. sial

Favorite store
-Soda

Your summer
-Summer of 2008.. has created one of my most wonderful memories..

Your favorite color
-Brown

When is the last time you laughed
-This morning

Last time you cried
-Yesterday...

Three people who recently email me
-Her, her and her.

Three of my favorite food
-1- KFC's Cheesy Wedges
2- Millenium's burger
3- Unagi

Three places I would rather be right now
-1- Bali
2- Kay El
3- *undisclosed*

The people I think will respond
-None.. cuz I ain't taggin' nobody

Still unsure about sushi,
Muaz Al Rashid

Haunted by bad memories? Take a chill pill...

2009-02-18T13:48:00.000+08:00

And I mean that literally..

Apparently, scientists have discovered a drug that could erase bad memories.

"The method, using existing blood pressure pills, could be useful for weakening or erasing bad memories in people with post-traumatic stress disorder, the researchers say"

Although this method might be seen as a scientific miracle to many, some ethicist questions whether or not erasing one off his memory might alter what it means to be human.

Which is undeniably true, I've discussed this ever so often, yes we've all done things that we regret in the end; yes, we've all gone through some traumatic situation one way or another. But that is how life is, we learn from all the rains whilst we cherish from all the sunshines of our lives.

Erasing bad memories might sound enticing, but I rather learn and grow from my mistakes and undesirable situations rather than to completely forget about it.

Look up to the sky and see,

Muaz Al Rashid

Take a risk, Take a chance, Make a change

2009-02-17T08:44:00.000+08:00

Have you ever had that weird moment in a day when you reminisce upon the things you’ve achieved in life and reflect it to your age?

Well I did, yesterday. I’m turning 24 this year, and I just have this feeling where I’m just slacking through life and not achieving the things that I want to achieve, especially when I had to compare myself with my best friend who’s a year younger but achieved things that I don’t think I’d be achieving within a short period of time.

And then it hit me how ridiculous that thought was. Yes, I might not achieve all the big things in life that I want to achieve, but look at what I actually have achieved. People always tend to disregard something unless it’s taken away from them, some try hard to catch their dream but when they got there, that’s it for them; disregarded until they lost what they’ve gained.

I felt like a fool for comparing myself to others, because I certainly shouldn’t. Everyone’s a unique individual; my best friend worked for years to get to where he is in. People have different strength and weaknesses, what you should do is to find that strength and use it to its full potential, and self-reflect; accept criticisms; seek those weaknesses and try to overcome them as oppose to dwelling over the fact that it is a weakness.

Criticisms can be overwhelming, at times you’ll get absurd rumours that you wouldn’t even understand as to how it came about. As much as you’d like to reach to the stars, there will always be those envious individuals who might stop at nothing to rip you apart. This applies to any career, a tough skin is always a necessity; for your career... for your life.

This year, I have come up with a method on how to handle a bad situation (primarily to reduce my anxiety attacks), every time a ridiculous situation came about, I’d search for a silver lining; I would take a moment and try to search for the diamond in the rough – something that could make me say “well... at least...”. Try this whenever you’re swarmed with negativity, it might help.

Every now and then, I hear people saying “I wanna be this...”, “I will be this..”, but not exactly doing anything to achieve what they want to be. I didn’t become a newscaster overnight, I didn’t get the job miraculously when I was at home eating chips in front of the TV. If you want to achieve something badly, do some research and stand up and get on with work. A friend of mine been bugging me on wanting to be a newscaster for MONTHS and when I finally told him there’re auditions being held for four days the other day – did he turn up? No, he came up with excuses; you wouldn’t be anywhere if you have the dream but not the initiative.

What was I saying? Have I completely lost track again? Haha... regardless... Life isn’t easy for the most of us, not all of us has everything we want handed down to us whenever we want them. If you want something to happen, you have to make it happen.

Lastly, what was I kidding when I thought I haven’t achieved anything? Grateful for my job is what I should be.... and I am.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.

I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change...

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

I need to improve my Malay

2009-02-17T07:46:00.000+08:00

I think I need to re-take my Malay O-levels, the "B" that I got 7 years ago seems to mean nothing now.

It is just humiliating when my expatriate colleagues come up to me every now and then with a notice, asking me what this and that means. They all just assume that I am an expert in Standard Malay.

I am so not.

I just found out that "Guru Tingkatan" means "Form Teacher", and "Pemantauan" means "Observation".

Pleh,
Muaz Al Rashid

Dental Hygiene Program for teachers - Review

2009-02-15T20:42:00.000+08:00

Warning: Content of post may offend, author apologises in advance if his views offend that of yours.

Two weeks ago, we year 4 BA Education students were made compulsory to attend a dental hygiene program. For a second, I eeked from the sound of its idiocy, but then I realised only a few weeks prior, when I was on air for news, I read that Brunei has one of the worst dental hygiene history within the Asian region. Thus, it wouldn’t be such a complete waste at all.

At least I thought.

True, the program has amazingly good intentions, but for the first session (3 sessions in total); about 90 percent of the time was wasted with pouring out facts that are already known; when it came to statistics – I went “hey, now this should be interesting”, well they decided to display statistics from 1999 – if you haven’t noticed, that’s statistics from 10 years ago. My interest went out the door.

Furthermore, one of the conductor’s powerpoint presentation was extremely disturbing with excessive images and pointless graphics; I really do not understand what Felix the cat has anything to do with dental hygiene. Note: Pictures/graphics should not flood your powerpoint presentation, use it only when necessary (i.e. to illustrate an example).

Then, the time has come for them to draw the connection between the whole issue of dental hygiene with us teachers; which felt that it took forever. Again, yes, they have good intentions and aims, however they fail to cater the whole program to their audience. Most of us in that room were to-be high school teachers, every dental hygiene awareness program that they promoted caters ONLY to nursery to primary school students. I wasted completely good time; nowhere on earth will I ever make my 16 year old students go out and brush their teeth in the veranda.

Second session: We were then formed into groups and given specific situations that we have to find the solution to and enact. Before that, two from each group were told to come on stage for an activity. Their hands were then tangled with strings. At first I thought: strings = floss. But no, the idea was they had to untangle themselves. No relation whatsoever to dental hygiene – another absolute waste of time. That took about 10 minutes, while the rest of the session was then devoted to shaping our performance to be staged in the next session.

Third session: Each group was given 15 minutes tops to perform, and again it was clear from everyone’s performance that the whole program caters ONLY to nursery to primary school children, not even one of the situations or problems given out by the conductors relate to secondary school students. Then, again, 3 from each group were told to come on stage, the rest are told to just stand. Then, they played music and we were told to do the chicken dance - - really, I could not find the relevance in this.

So basically, what I’m saying is this: Even though the conductors had a great aim in mind, it was clear that they did not really put much thought into the program’s content. Firstly, the three sessions could easily be just one whole session, or at least one and a half. This should help reduce time wasted when we could be on our first week of Teaching Practice.

Secondly, the program caters only to primary education students; thus barely made relevance to us secondary school teachers.

Thirdly, seriously, activities should, even though entertain, have a particular aim and relevance to the topic of the program conducted. I don’t see how doing the chicken dance would help me get clean bright white pearly teeth.

Sincerely,
Muaz Al Rashid

I just...

2009-02-15T09:23:00.000+08:00

You don't need valentines to tell someone you love them.

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

RTB Media Carnival

2009-02-14T18:59:00.000+08:00

When I went public with my job as a newscaster for RTB, I get people asking me how to apply because they’re interested in joining the workforce.

Well the answer has come. The RTB Media Carnival, that’s been held since Thursday (February 12th, 2009) gives you the opportunity to audition for several production houses and RTB departments. News is among it.

Visit our news booth. Auditions are held for English/Malay/Sports newscasters, weather girls and Rampai Pagi presenters. Held in the morning from 8.30 until 11.30 and in the afternoon from 2 until 4.30pm, if you’re reading this now (February, 14th, 2009), you only have TOMORROW left to come and participate.

You can tell how vain a guy is if he takes a picture next to his picture.. nyahaha

How? Ask for the forms (I’ll be there around 2:30pm after my Business News bulletin), fill them in, get your scripts, go through your scripts and get the names (particularly royal titles) correct. If you’re unsure of any pronunciations, do not hesitate to ask. Scripts might be error-infested, so get your pen at the ready. Wait for you turn, and don’t be surprised that you’ll be recording your audition in front of everyone. All the best, and let’s hope that YOU might be my future colleague.

On the other hand, TONIGHT is Pelangi’s 60 second DJ competition. If you wanna try something less serious and more towards entertainment, that’s a good stepping stone.

The carnival’s been amazing so far, great varieties of booth available; from food, clothes, jewelleries and travel agencies.

Oh, We also have a haunted house!!

COME! Tomorrow’s the last day!

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Where's ma chips?

2009-02-11T17:06:00.001+08:00

ROTFLMAO

This cracks me up BIG time

No biggies,
Muaz Al Rashid

Relax.. take it easy~

2009-02-11T14:58:00.000+08:00

My first two posts sound kinda deep and somewhat depressive, so I decided to put this in to cheer up the blog a bit... taken from Miss Maurina.. hehehe

1. How am I feeling today?
Still - Brian McKnight

Comment: I feel "still".. unchanged.. apparently.

2. Where will I get married?
Gimme More - Dale Arden (from Dolce and Gabbana)

Comment: Apparently I wanna get married in a lot of places.. hahah

3. What is my best friend’s theme song?
Sweet Child of Mine - Guns and Roses

Comments: Apparently Z is a like a child to me ... ? wtf~ lol

4. What was high school like?
Till the dawn - Drew Sidora

Comment: I seriously do not remember ever studying till the dawn in highschool... bilaaa jua..

5. What is the best thing about me?
Strung out - Mutya Buena

Comment: Apparently my depression is the best thing about me.. pleh

6. How is today going to be?
Jangan Pernah Berubah - Marcel

Comment: It should be the same.. or I should be the same..? antam

7. What is in store for this weekend?
Aku Statik - OAG

Comments: Something static... hmmmm the connection of this with the previous question intrigues me..

8. What song describes my parents?
I miss you so much - TLC

Comment: I barely see them given my schedule.. work by 6:30 am and home midnight - matey.. I have no life

9. How is my life going?
I'm a Bitch - Meredith Brooke

Comment: LOL title says it all.

10. What song will they play at my funeral?
Yesterday - Boys II Men

Comment: Now that's scary..

11. How does the world see me?
Real Love - Massari

Comment: Awwwww....

12. What do my friends really think of me?
I'm Through With Love - Jane Monheit

Comment: That seriously contradicts~

13. Do people secretly lust after me?
Remember the name - Fort Minor

Comment: Seriously, what's with this question...

14. How can I make myself happy?
Shut Up and Drive - Rihanna

Comment: Yes, I drive around to cheer me up.. huhu..

15. What should I do with my life?
Life is Wonderful - Jason Mraz

Comment: err.....

16. Will I ever have children?
Home - Daughtry

Comment: I got them at home ... ? hahah

17. What is some good advice?
All about loving you - Bon Jovi

Comment: Stick to one babies... loyalty's the key. ;)

18. What do I think my current theme song is?
Hurt - Christina Aguilera

Comment: GAH!!

19. What does everyone else think about my current life?
The trouble with love is - Kelly Clarkson

Comment: This is starting to freak me out.

20. What type of woman do you like?
Mencintaimu - Krisdayanti

Comment: One that loves me - - d'oh

21. Will you get married?
My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

Comment: Yay! *based purely on song title*

23. Where will you live?
Crush - David Archuleta

Comment: ey?

24. What will your dying words be?
At the beginning - Richard Marx and Donna Lewis

Comment: I talk about beginnings during an end... interesting perspective

25. When I’m having sex I say…
Love Bug - Jonas Brothers

Comment: ..... okayyyy

26. When I meet a guy/lady for the first time I say…
Love You Lately - Daniel Powter

Comment: HAHAHAHHAHAHAH desperate kali aku ani?? sial

27. When my parents are angry I say…
Nothing in this world - Paris Hilton

Comment: .... feel free to actually finish that sentence... hahah

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Why?

2009-02-11T04:22:00.001+08:00

Have you ever had this feeling where you just feel completely at loss? Where things are just thrown at you... and you try your hardest to make the best out of the situation, but it just gets worse... like nothing you do is good enough, you’re always going to be based on what you WERE and what you DID, instead of what or who you ARE or what you ARE DOING...

And every time you try to express your feelings, those who you thought would understand, would instantly just call you ridiculous instead of spending a few minutes hearing you out or trying to put themselves in your shoe... They say they understand you, but truth be told, given the instant judgement, they obviously don’t.

A friend once said; people will always judge you no matter what you do, regardless of you saying you’ve changed, or you’ve moved on.

And then you think to yourself - - why do you care so much on what people think of you? Doesn’t what you understand about yourself matter most? And the fact that you know that you’re a better person now – doesn’t that matters even more than people who have very little knowledge about you judging you every other day?

And then one asks... what if the person who judges you... who labels you... is your own family..? is your own lover...? Those you love... you think they know you... but evidently they don’t... and it’s just so apparent that they just don’t have faith in you anymore...

So really... another ask... why bother?

Muaz Al Rashid – the voices in my head..

The Opening

2009-02-10T08:50:00.000+08:00

People always talk about moving on with your life and not let the past haunts you. At the same time, you shouldn't always completely disregard your past as it moulds you into the person you are today.

Yes, some past memories are downright hurtful, some are mistakes that people label you with, at times you wish you wouldn't have done what you've done - but what you should know - some people realise that the mistakes they've done are made for all the right reasons. They are made to make them grow as a person, they are done to make them realise their own actions and thus go through the repercussions.

Regardless.. life is about moving on, thus the new blog.

Unplugged.. why you ask? Well.. when I had acting training, my trainer keeps telling me to let go of the inhibitions... So I'm unplugging myself from the past.. from inhibitions... let myself free..

I have yet to put all the links from CFM to here and registered a new shoutbox, will do that soon.

Yours truly,
Muaz Al Rashid