once a teacher, always a teacher..

A couple of months ago I was checking out a friend’s profile page on facebook and I was overwhelmed with joy when I saw a link to my former teacher’s profile. My teacher from primary 5 (that was back in 1996) SR Amar Pahlawan, Zarina Abu Zar; one of the best teacher a student could ever ask for. Her presence alone brightens up a whole class; her teaching – one of the most exciting and passionate I’ve ever seen. I didn’t just see her as a teacher – I saw her as a mother figure; her love for her students was just so clear – she made me feel special. Years have passed, and I still remember the sound of her voice, the way she taught and how caring she was; the impact she has made towards her students was so great that all of us just fail to forget such an inspirational character.

Now that is a teacher. Someone you can look up to and yet never made you feel too scared to talk to – someone so inspirational, you would just never forget their presence in your life – someone who is able to lift your spirits up and tell you never to give up – someone... who wouldn’t just give up on you. In the words of Henry Adams, “a teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops”

That definition of a teacher is embedded into my mind ever since, and I tried implementing it when I was performing my teaching practice in SM Menglait, last year. And I’m telling you this... it’s difficult. Putting all your heart and soul into your work is wonderful, but when students rebel against you – particularly for not trying hard enough – or not even trying at all – it just hurts so much.

Me being me, try not to show it much (konon control macho – barigali) but I find myself emotionally attached to my students and I tried my best just to see them succeed. I had a couple of students who couldn’t care less about their education; refuse to do any work, barely comes to class – you get the drift – which is typical, you get those kinda kids all the time. But it just hurts me that I wasn’t able to help these kids to see that what they’re doing now is detrimental towards their future. Some of the rebels were actually even ridiculously smart. Sigh.

O well...

As a whole, I did enjoy my teaching experience greatly, I felt ever so thankful that, regardless of the rebels, a lot of my other students appreciated the amount of effort I put to help them, and a lot of them even bugged me to come back to teach them. I wish I could just easily said “yes” to them. But up until now, I’m still not sure that I am able to inspire. The amount of burden that falls upon a teacher is so massive – and it scares me. I’m scared that I might fail as a teacher.



Over the years, I’ve seen different types of teachers; I’ve seen those teachers who are just like Miss Zarina Abu Zar – and I’ve seen those who just couldn’t care less. I’m just afraid that one day I might slip and fall into the latter category.

All and all, if anyone is even reading this, to everyone who was ever involved in my teaching experience – thank you for the wonderful moments.

The important thing is not so much

that every child should be taught,

as that every child should be given the wish to learn.

(John Lubbock)

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid