A small change; a huge impact

When you construct yourself a huge pyramid out of playing cards, and you decide to take, let’s not say a few, but one... one of the cards (from the middle or the base) away from the pyramid... it will definitely fall no?

So would you agree when I say “a small change can make a huge impact”?

I guess that most of you might agree with me... something small can easily turn itself into a huge statement. – keep this thought.

Alright, so most of you who have probably read my blog from my Coffee with Muaz times, would understand perfectly that I had an eating disorder: I was anorexic, and I was also bulimic (not at the same time).

I spoke on my personal battle with weight over time and how fat comments directed at me would instantly affect my psychological well-being. Don’t judge me... you just do not call a former bulimic fat, it’s like giving a cigarette to a person who’s trying to quit smoking... or handing a carton of beer to a recovering alcoholic. The effect can be highly disastrous; like I said, small gesture, huge impact.

It is just the nature of a former bulimic to be bugged by fat comments. Which is what I’m experiencing, but it does not mean that I do not respect your opinions.

I am deeply upset with certain individuals who think that I take their opinions towards my weight for granted. Yes, I KNOW that I’ve shed some weight, but remember who I was... fat comments get to me. It is my nature, I’m still recovering. Put yourself in my shoes... and try to understand my situation, try to see it from my point of view.

That’s one thing... Why do I call myself a FORMER bulimic? That’s because I don’t force myself to barf my food anymore. Which, coming from a former bulimic is a MAJOR improvement (something small.. but a huge impact to my life). And I have some of you to thank for it, for without you, I wouldn’t have garnered the courage, confidence and positivity to stop throwing up my food. So therefore, for you to say that I do not respect your opinion, at all, is complete bull to me. If it wasn’t for your opinion... if it wasn’t for your encouragement... if it wasn’t for YOU... I would probably still be barfing out my food.

It is just frustrating that just because I am bugged by certain comments, you think that I do not respect your opinions at all. You obviously have not realised my progress... you obviously have not noticed my improvement – which to me is a point to celebrate. Like really, a bulimic who stopped barfing? Isn’t that a cause to celebrate? Isn’t that the whole idea of quitting bulimia, to stop puking?

So yes.. like I said.. I’m still recovering... regardless of the fact that I get bugged by fat comments made by certain people, I have never gone back to the extremes of bulimia and anorexia.

What is small to you might be perceived big by others. You might not care that I stopped barfing, but to me, that’s huge progress... I’m proud of myself... and I thought you would be too. I have never gone back to extreme crazy “diets” and forced barfing, if I get comments like that, I tend to just cut down a little bit on my food intake and/or hit the gym. That little change in my lifestyle has done me great so far... I have you to thank... You just need to open your eyes up a bit to realise it..

Walk a mile in my shoes...
Muaz Al Rashid