Love me for a reason..

"Love me for a reason.. and let the reason be love" (Boyzone)

Yes, here I am yet again talking about one of my endless topic, love. Why do I keep discussing this? Why do I keep questioning this? Why are there so many theories... ideologies... stories when it comes to love?

why? because love is enigmatic. It's not something that is easily explained. Such the quotation above (note: I don't quote boybands often unless if they actually do have a line of value). Love makes you do crazy things... it baffles the mind... it creates war AND harmony at the same time. Love for a reason, and let the reason be love. What does that really mean?

It means, it's just difficult to explain why you are in love with someone.

It is easy to say HOW you start falling in love with someone. That is what I call the triggers; things that makes you "like" someone and which leads to love. These triggers are unique to different people; physical appearance, intelligence, charisma, humour, boob size, sexual fetishes, common interest - - you get the drift.

Thing is... most of these triggers are either ephemeral (particularly when it comes to physical apperance - one of the main reasons as to what contributes to "liking" someone) or faded away or overwhelmed by negative attributes of the person you fell "in love with"; such as being abusive, compulsive liar, impassionate etc.

For example, you fell in love with your bestfriend; she's always been there for you and showed you how much she really cares about you - and on top of that - you do everything together, and then things happen, you may get a little drifted apart, let's say, she's off to study abroad. Are the reasons for how you fell in love with her still valid as being reasons why you still love her? You say you love her because she's always there for you - what if she's not anymore? Are you going to stop loving her? Is it the end?

No - your feelings remain. But why? You thought you love her because of your togetherness - are you sure?

As I've said, the process of falling in love, is easier to explain in compared to why you still are currently in love with that person.

Some people say.. reasons can change or fade. Feelings remain. So can you really say you need a specific reason to love someone? It's difficult to put in words.

When I'm in love, I don't know why, but at the end of a stressful day, a simple text message from the person you're in love with - could just brighten your whole day. A little smile, can cheer you up like you've never been happier. A little eye contact, could make your heart stop beating for a moment like as if time itself wants you to embrace that moment. A little touch could make your palm sweat and your heart beats faster. Why? because you are in love.

True love - true undying and unconditional love, is like wind, you know it - you feel it - you just don't know how to explain it. For something so beautiful, just let it be, don't question it too much. Love is just so great that you can't really find the perfect words to explain it, apart from the word "love" itself.

note:

Unconditional love is not the best in every situations. When it comes to abusive partners or those who are compulsive liars, that is enough a reason for you to walk out that door. When people say, there shouldn't be a reason for you to love someone - then I say, there are reasons why you should NOT love someone.

Also, some couples spend way too much time thinking of reasons why they love each other - and in most cases, it ends up in an argument. So there, when both of you are in love; embrace it - stop questioning it.

With love,

Muaz Al Rashid

Random

I haven't posted anything in quite a while.. it feels like as if I'm starting to lose connection to actual blogging as opposed to micro-blogging. The idea of fitting a whole post in one short sentence is quite enticing; it kind of lets people wonder what the details of it might really be... what triggers that one short "status update".. keeping an ounce of privacy yet expressing yourself nicely in such a delicate amount...

At times, writing such detailed posts makes one feel that one might lose his or her entire privacy - one might feel that the more one writes, the more it becomes misconstrued by someone else's negative opinions.

I'm not saying that blogging is starting to scare me, I've already made quite a number of foes and might have stirred quite a battle with some people. But I've never really regretted any of it. The fact that these things happen, it helps you grow. It widens your horizons.

A lot of people hate being criticized because they're afraid of being out of their shell. There is a whole world upon us, and if we close ourselves to our little mindsets - not wanting to even listen (or read) someone else's differing opinion, we're not going to get anywhere but to only be stuck in our own shadows.

I don't know why I see things very differently from the masses; including my own family. Education? maybe.. television? maybe... I really don't know.. but that is what is special, yet intriguing about humans; sometimes there are really no answers to how something started. Like the typical "which comes first; the chicken or the egg?" question. Some things are just is. Like why am I a born a boy? why are my ears different? Why am I not blue eyed?

Yes, you can argue that life experiences shape a person's mindset; that's definitely one of the key components of it, but really there are times when you really think of it - why exactly are you more optimistic than you are a pessimist? it's as if we're born with some particular traits that act a like a chip inserted in us and that is how we operate - based on those traits that we inherited genetically.

But what about me? Why do I think so differently than quite a number of my own family members.. Why do I see things differently? Why do I look so much like my mother and yet think differently? I resemble my sister and yet we are almost completely different.

I don't even know why I am talking about this at 4 in the morning. I'm not even trying to explain myself.. these words just seem to flow to my fingers.

But yeah.. I have different opinions to quite a number of things... A friend said this the other day:

"They're not weird Muaz.. You are.. for being where you were to begin with.. You don't belong there - why were you even there?"

The ugly duckling... the black sheep.. typical things you can call me by.

Anyway.. the point is.. you may have different opinions.. but it doesn't mean that others have to follow suit.. it doesn't mean that you can't listen to someone else's point of views.. Listen to them - even if they won't listen to you. Agree is not a necessity, but listening and just understanding someone's stance on a particular issue might be interesting.

Open up your shell, and start living the world.

Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

and Ima check ma facebook

HAHAHHAAH

awal ku ketawa.

This story cracks me up.

So supposed you're a burglar, you break into a house and was about to leave and you saw a PC.. what do you do with it?
(a) Steal it. duh, you're a damn burglar
(b) leave it alone, you haven't the time to grab a whole pc
(c) check your facebook for any new updates

You think you won't go for (c)?

The popular online social networking site Facebook helped lead to an
alleged burglar's arrest after he stopped check his account on the victim's
computer, but forgot to log out before leaving the home with two diamond
rings.

Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one
count of felony daytime burglary.
(source)

HAHAHA. what an idiot. You'd think that in this day and age, criminals get smarter..

with love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Baby Found in Kupang

Found this video, and my heart stopped a beat and clenched. sigh. I don't even know what else to say to this, I'm just so appalled.

Sounds of Hope Charity Gala

Oh, now that I'm in here, might as well post this. The poster itself is self-explanatory. And if you have yet to know, Sounds of Hope is a non-profit organisation aiming to eradicate poverty in Brunei Darussalam.




Much love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Long overdue

Wow, yes, I know Elle, it's been way too quiet around here.. haha.. I fully and sincerely apologise to those who actually enjoy reading this blog for the serious lack of updates. I have been micro-blogging a lot of my thoughts lately as facebook statuses instead of an actual detailed post here on my blog (takes way less time to compose and creates less haters), and of course that being said, those haters out there are probably having the time of their life thinking that I'm probably dead or something due to my long absence..

I WILL update soon, just have been spending most of my free time with digital drawing using my super-dooper awesome graphic tablet and photo-manipulations.

In order to make this post look longer, I shall post some of my artworks. ahah.







Other than that, Selamat Berpuasa everyone.


Feel the love. Exhale and dump away all the hatred.


Love,
Muaz Al Rashid

Putting the "U" in "You"

I dropped by the Pilihan studio this morning just to say hi to DJ Izan and to see the outcome of the henna tattoo I made for her.. and somehow she managed to make me sit and become an actual guest on her show.. we talked about a lot of interesting topics; one of which is about being different and accepting yourself for who you are. A topic which is very close to my heart.

A lot of people are afraid of their own skin, because the world out there is extremely judgemental. And people fear rejection... people fear isolation... people fear criticisms. Which is why people always try their best to act, speak, think, and/or dress like how the mainstream community wants them to be.

People want acceptance so bad - they forgot one thing: acceptance towards oneself.

How can you accept yourself when you're basically lying your way through life? How can you be happy when you are NOT you?

"Be the change you want to see in the world" (Mahatma Ghandi)

A lot of people have mentioned, before you want to learn to love others, you must first understand yourself - love yourself first. If you are afraid of being judged by people for being who you trully are; it just comes to show how much you are unloved by your own self.

A lot of people waste their time thinking about what people think of them, when in reality, others really have other things to think about than you. So why bother? Why do you want to be accepted so badly?

I know why, I felt that often since I was a kid; loneliness. People hate being alone, they hate being isolated. Well if that's the case, don't bother trying to get to know people who would not understand you. You're just wasting your time trying to crack open a mind that would always remain close. What I do? Simple... walk away, and you'll eventually meet people who understand you... who are just like you... and who actually like you.

There was this one time last year that a person said "your blog will be the most hated blog in Brunei" over something I said. I'm going to put this straight: I do not necessarily think the same way as a lot of people here. I have my own mindset; I'm not a robot that would just simply nod at whatever ideas people throw at me. If I have something to say, I'll say it. If I agree.. I'll say why... if I don't, I'll tell you why - it's that simple. And when that person said what he or she said, it didn't even bother me, I don't really care if people hate me.

People have their rights to like or dislike whoever they want. But one thing for sure, I'd rather be hated for being who I am than be liked for being someone I am not.

Growing up, I felt a lot of rejection and seen a lot of mockery. Of course, I was saddened by this, and I tried to be the person people want me to be. And you know what? I could never quite suffice their demands. And then I realise, the more I change, the more people want me to change. One thing comes after the other - nothing is ever enough. People are greedy when it comes to what they want. And so I said "f**k it". I'm tried of pretending and staying quiet just so that people like me.

I have friends who love me for who I am - and that's enough for me. And I hope others out there, will feel the same way. There's no point in trying to satisfy other people because they'll never be satisfied.

Same goes with blog haters. I still could never understand why people still visit and read blogs of people who they do not like. I have actual friends whose blogs I don't read because I find what they write a bit lame at times, but I don't go around checking it ever so often and leave hate messages. It's pointless, get over it. Why did I bring this up? After what felt like forever, I visited my CFM website, and found a recent message from an old "friend". People amuse me sometimes, but I could never understand them.

Could somebody please clarify it for me. Why do people LOVE visiting blogs that they hate and leave hateful messages?

YOU put the "U" in "you", otherwise you're just a "yo" which is basically nonsense.

With love,
Muaz Al Rashid

A few more weeks

It’s July, and per usual, my pre-birthday post.

Normally, around this time, I would be listing the things (material-wise) that I would want as birthday gifts. This year, I’m doing it a bit different. I won’t be listing any materials that I want, if you know me well, you’d know what I want.

But to be honest, what do I really want for my birthday... something that I have been wishing for years but barely been able to reach it. No, it’s not that gray LV back pack nor is it the new iPhone, I just want to be happy.

What’s the point of people chanting “happy birthday” to you the whole day when you’re not authentically feeling it? It’s been awhile that I felt completely elated on my birthday; I felt it a bit last year, but it didn’t last as long as I hoped it would. For here I am, still searching for that particular feeling that’s lost between all the intricate dramas of what we call “life”.

I was watching a movie the other day (can’t remember which), but the actress said “happy endings are stories that haven’t really ended”. True, because the story of life doesn’t end after 2 hours, it doesn’t end after a marriage, nor does it end with a credit roll.

Life comes in a pair; yin and yang; that balances what life is. Happy ending movies tend to focus on the yang; the brighter side of life, but people tend to focus on the yin; the depressing parts of life and overwhelm themselves in it. I have been guilty on the latter quite so often.

Thus, what I want for my birthday is... to forget the dark depressing yin, but to immerse myself in the wonderful yang of life. I want to wake up feeling completely elated – joyful as I’m still breathing and my heart still beating, and going back to sleep that night – feeling the exact same way. I want to wake up smiling and falling asleep with a smile on my face.

Someone once said “life is too short to be depressed”. As shallow-minded as I think that phrase is, I will be taking that as this year’s birthday theme.

I want to be happy. That’s all. But how am I going to do that?

First swine flu related death reported in Brunei

The Ministry of Health has confirmed the death of a 12 year old girl with regards to the A (H1N1) virus and the number of positive cases of A (H1N1) has shockingly risen to 93.

If THIS doesn't slap these absolutely ignorant public up in their face, I don't know what will.

The authorities had made it perfectly clear that the public SHOULD be aware and take proper precaution; if people would've sat down and listened, this rapid increase probably wouldn't have happened!

My condolences goes to the family of the said girl.

Innalillah.

Muaz Al Rashid

Public ignorance to its very core

The past week, my news scripts include updates of H1N1 cases in Brunei, which is rapidly rising. Due to such, the authorities have decided to extend school holidays; this is so that teenagers would avoid crowded places and socialising with their peers; given the fact that most of them might be at risk as most went overseas for the holidays.

But hey, why don't I find it surprising that Gadong is FULL of cars and people at 3pm on a monday?

And why am I not surprised to know that there are parents who bring their toddlers out to overly crowded places like last weekend's consumer fair at the ICC?

WHY am I not surprised to see parents dropping off their kids to Gadong when they are AWARE of the rising cases of H1N1?

Is it because our country is known to be "peaceful" that these parents.. these kids.. choose to completely ignore the risk that they might be taking?

It pisses me off to see parents bring out their young children.. their babies.. out when the authorities clearly advised them to lessen social interactions and to avoid crowded places.

and reading this, fuel my anger even more. Here're some quotes from the article;

A mother of six, who wished to be named Salmah, said: "I brought my
daughter here today because I feel that The Mall is a safe place and that it's
clean."

When asked whether she was afraid of contracting H1N1 at a crowded
place like The Mall, she said: As we are in Brunei, I am more confident taking
my children out, rather than in a foreign country."

Another parent, Zulkifli Hj Tengah, whose three children are in primary schools, echoed the same sentiments. "Although I am aware of the advisory by MoE, I do not feel scared bringing all my children here because it's a safe place to me."

A number of students met by The Brunei Times said that they choose not to heed the advisory simply because it is a better alternative to being bored at home, such as in the case of Ak Mohd Hafiz, 16, who said that he was not scared at all of contracting H1N1. "I am still going to come out everyday, whether it be at The Mall or other places. It is just boring to stay at home," he explained.

A 13-year-old student, Nadheerah Affandy also said that the reason she was at The Mall was because she had nothing to do at home. "I am scared of contracting the virus here, but I would rather come out because there is nothing to do at home," she said, adding that she might think about staying at home for the rest of the week.

--- WTH??!

Are these people crazy?

So I get it, you rather contract a deadly virus than be bored at home... very wise indeed.

On another note, I'm quarantined for a week, sister's colleague tested positive for A (H1N1), and thus everyone in her office and those who are in close contact of them are being quarantined.

Be safe, stay clean.
Muaz Al Rashid